290+ Baseball Puns & Jokes

Common Baseball Pun Words To Use

1. “Why do we sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when we’re already there?”
2. A book never written: “The Quickest Baseball Game” by Earl E. Wynn.
3. If you were a baseball and I was a bat would you let me hit that?
4. Baseball players have to stay in line or they will be afoul of the rules.
5. Can I pinch hit on you?
6. He could play baseball, football, basketball, soccer and tennis. He was a jock of all trades.
7. Which baseball player holds water? The pitcher!
8. Plus, his speeches haven’t changed. He’s on the campaign trail today, and made a short stop to deliver a speech. Same pitch as usual.
9. Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base?… From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle
10. Were you eating dinner at Arby? I like that place.
11. Our high school math teacher moonlights by selling concessions at local baseball games. He is a true ballpark figure.
12. A baseball pitcher asked if he had a good curveball, but wanted a straight answer.
13. If you were a reliever, I’d sign you up to a three-year contract with a vesting option
14. Why was Cinderella so bad at baseball? She had a pumpkin for a coach!
15. You’re like baseball: You make me all nervous and then nothing happens.
16. You know, I’ve never needed a third base coach to wave me home.
17. Have you ever wondered why baseball players get girlfriends? They’re great at hitting it off.
18. Wanna hear a joke? The Blue Jays. Wanna hear something serious? My love for you.
19. Can you tame my diamondback? Everybody else has
20. Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart. Just like Dee Gordon when he steals bases!”
21. How do baseball players keep in touch? They touch base every once in a while.
22. Roz also said she’d contribute. Is Roz in?
23. Us baseball players know our way around the bases.
24. Ok, Pop. Fly me out of here.
25. The only thing tender today is my heart for you
26. Ok, strike that.
27. Baseball players only wear one glove so they can leave the other hand free to hold girls like you.
28. Why don’t baseball players join unions?… Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes.
29. What a screwball…
30. If you date me, you’ll eventually see a diamond.
31. Which animal is best at baseball? The bat!
32. She played baseball and so did he. They hit it off.
33. What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster?… a doubleheader!
34. What’s the difference between a Yankee Stadium hotdog, and a Fenway Park hotdog?… You can buy a Fenway Frank hotdog in October!
35. You can call me the A’s because I’m destroying that Kitty right now
36. Obviously, Paul is away — not home. He’s a busy guy, with a lot on his plate.
37. You’re like baseball: I’d love to play you in front of a crowd.
38. Why are some umpires fat?…They always clean their plate!
39. You don’t get it? Or are you just Yankee my chain, you knuckle head? In any case, it’s been a ball and it kept me in stitches — even if you didn’t contribute your usual a mound. Maybe I’ll catch a single episode of The Simpsons before I go to sleep. I really like Homer.
40. That one has been used already. You need to find a substitute.
41. I’m an umpire. Now, give me your number so I can make the call.
42. The best way to make a baseball bat is to carve it by hand. Using a machine is just lathe-y.
43. What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man?… Pitching like no one has ever seen.
44. How is a baseball like a pancake?… They both need a good batter.
45. Baseball players who get three strikes
46. What’s long and hard and intimidates everyone? My BAT. Isn’t it adorable?
47. Damn G+. I got another pop-up ad.
48. Why are singers good at baseball?… Because they have perfect pitch!
49. Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Forget it, it’s way over your head
50. Doug was going to contribute, but he couldn’t think of anything. Maybe you should help Doug out.
51. Are you in the on-deck circle, or is that halo?
52. You still did OK. Overall, I think it’s a toss-up.
53. Do you know what cupcakes & a baseball team have in common?… They both count on the batter!
54. Are you accepting applications for your fan club? I’d love to join since I’m already a member of the Mr. Met fan club!
55. Are you Eric Sogard because there’s no way I’d ever forget your
56. A book never written: “How to Be a Better Baseball Player” by Ben Schwarmer.
57. A baseball player was a thief. He was always trying to steal.
58. We must be in the bullpen because you’re warming me up.
59. Are you Anthony Recker because I just wanna let you pull my dinger
60. Uhhhh, my lead off’s not great, and though I may be off base, I’d like to take you on a date.
61. The reason baseball games are at night is that bats sleep during the day!
62. Paul is very unresponsive, but I’ll let it slide. Maybe he’s having car trouble. I told him to check his clutch. He’s not single, so maybe he can put the squeeze on his wife, so she can help him out of this jam.
63. A dog who played baseball always got walked.
64. I had a good streak going there.
65. Of all the butts in all the locker rooms, well, yours is way better.
66. It’s no wonder that some baseball players have lots of money – often even many of the bases are loaded.
67. Ok, strike that
68. Sorry, J-Walk. I guess I dropped the ball.
69. What are the rules in zebra baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out.
70. Two more follows and we can start the giveaway! Come on people, I draw pretty okay too
71. I hope you’re good at catching cause I’m starting to fall for you.
72. Like a platoon player, I’m dying to get some action
73. A baseball player swallowed his gum because he choked up.
74. Why are baseball games at night?… Because bats sleep during the day!
75. She was a baseball player’s wife and had a ballpark figure.
76. Hello. I am a professional baseball player.
77. I don’t field like football today, and besides, baseball is a batter game!
78. They say to bat me 2nd because I’m a good 2-hole hitter
79. I feel like I’m talking to myself. I guess you’re busy. I’ll take a walk and come back later.
80. Ha! No reply. You were caught looking at that comment.
81. You make my heart as spongey as the A’s infield
82. When all my electrical engineering friends at the baseball game did the wave, it was almost like having a phased-hooray.
83. I’m not at the top of my game tonight. Too distracted watching Mitt.
84. They replaced the baseball with an orange to add zest to the game.
85. Glad to see you’re finally running short. STOP!
86. They call me the Arizona D’Backs because I always play ball games late into the night
87. What did the baseball glove say to the ball?…”Catch ya later!”
88. Are we in the bullpen? Cuz you’re warming me up.
89. “Did you hear the joke about the fast pitch?”… ”Forget it. You just missed it.”
90. Unlike Dee Gordon, I give you full permission to tag my butt
91. What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player?… Babe Root.
92. Baseball is known for its pitched battles.
93. If this were an actual contest, I could really clean up.
94. Or maybe his union went on strike and he’s on the picket line. Drive home, if you can before I make another blooper.
95. Your pitch must have hit me because I’m feeling a little faint.
96. Is that a batting glove in your pocket, or do you have kind of a lumpy butt? Cuz if you do, that’s cool. I’m not picky.
97. They call me “The Lead” because the A’s bullpen wants to blow me
98. When a baseball fell in the sewer it was called a foul ball.
99. There are so many statistics in baseball that the players are now running around data bases.
100. That’s also been used. One more, and you’re out.
101. A new batter joined the baseball team, and he was a real hit.
102. You’re like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my problems! Just like Billy Beane when it comes to acquiring key baseball players who always get on base.
103. If you sing while playing baseball, you won’t get a good pitch.
104. Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches!
105. The baseball pitcher’s retirement was at the end of a wonderful ERA.
106. Have you ever seen a line drive?… No, but I have seen a baseball park!
107. In each town on his trip, the baseball player made a short stop.
108. What happens to a baseball pitcher when he loses a big game? He goes into the throes of depression.
109. The baseball player made a clean move with the girl but then he struck out.
110. I think there are about 1-2 million baseball fields in the world, but that’s just a ballpark number.
111. I think this thread represents the big inning of a new ERA in punnery.
112. They say I’m like John Jaso because I’m all clear to be behind your plate all summer long
113. Why did the police officer go to the baseball game? Someone stole second base!
114. BTW, if you put the squeeze on her, don’t pinch her. And definitely don’t hitter! And for god’s sake, don’t batter her around!
115. The baseball pitcher’s personality needed some polish. He was a diamond in the rough.
116. You’re quite the catch, baby.
117. What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team!
118. That’s all for me. I need some relief if this thread is to be saved.
119. Play in my extra innings, I guarantee I’m a long reliever
120. Are you in the outfield? Because you’re an angel.
121. Where does a baseball player go when he needs a new uniform? New Jersey.
122. A baseball player can sell himself to a new team if he has a good pitch.
123. You’re like baseball: A thinkin’ man’s game.
124. I like baseball so much more than football. It’s just a batter game!
125. They call me Derek Jeter because I got loose hips and I’m good at stroking balls away
126. Still no response from Paul. I guess this is my own little pun umpire, and I’m the king.
127. Whatcha got?
128. What cartoon character is the best at baseball?… Homer Simpson.
129. A baseball player joined the army and did the round of military bases.
130. I know I’m out of options, but I’ll fight my way in and prove to you that I can make your team into a contender.
131. My dugout, or yours?
132. I don’t get that pun no matter how hard I twi. ‘Night.
133. My love for you is like the A’s and Daric Barton: it never dies.
134. Which animal is best at hitting a baseball? The bat.
135. Your pitch must have hit me because I’m feeling a little faint!
136. Why is a baseball umpire like an angry chicken? : They both have fowl mouths.
137. Where shouldn’t a baseball player ever wear red? In the bull pen.
138. If you sing while playing baseball you may not get a good pitch
139. What is a baseball player’s favorite thing about going to the park?… The swings!
140. As a baseball player, I know my way around the bases.
141. What do baseball players use to bake a cake?… Oven MITTS, BUNT pans and BATTER.
142. I’m falling in glove with you!
143. Why is Fenway Park the coolest place to be?… Because it’s full of fans.
144. On second thought, I canceled the walk. The weather’s too foul.
145. At least it wasn’t a costly error. He still has his base, and he’s still running. In other words, he’s safe.
146. I hope you’re a good catcher because I’m starting to fall for you.
147. A baseball player’s mother knows what he likes to eat on the home plate.
148. Would you just take one for the team, and go out with me?
149. Which superhero is the best at baseball?… Batman.
150. If your daughter is tying up the computer, you should ground ‘er.
151. Why are spiders good baseball players?… Because they know how to catch flies!
152. When a baseball player isn’t going steady he’s playing the field.
153. Did you just hit me with a pitch? Cuz I’m feeling faint.
154. Can I show you my spitball?
155. “Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?”… “Forget it. It’s way over your head.”
156. Why do girls like baseball?… It’s the only sport played on a diamond!
157. Did you see what I wrote at the bottom of the 9th comment?
158. Even though there’s no ball game on tonight, ill still be slamming something out of the park
159. Baseball players are expected to perform well right off the bat.
160. I got a private conference in my hotel room at the winter meetings, come on up if you wanna look at my trade package
161. Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes? Sorry, but you can’t use one on the Seattle Mariners winning a World Series championship just because they signed Robinson Cano for a decade-long contract.
162. The game’s getting boring, wanna go back to my place and make it a blowout?
163. Why did the baseball player go to the car dealer? He wanted a sales pitch.
164. That’s a bit of a stretch.
165. What’s the “win probability” of me taking you home tonight, baby?
166. I just want something quick to fill a gap, let’s hook up on a one-year deal and then look at our option years later
167. I’m just trying to advance the art, using two methods: Walk ‘n’ Balk.
168. How do baseball players stay cool? By sitting next to the fans.
169. After this early morning spring training workout, you wanna come be my afternoon delight?
170. A baseball pitcher asked if he had a good curve
171. What’s the difference between a rain barrel and a bad fielder? One catches drops and the other drops catches.
172. strikes!
173. I think I glove you!
174. So am I gonna be your closer tonight, or are you putting me in middle relief?
175. Where did the baseball player wash his socks?… In the bleachers.
176. Why are frogs good outfielders?… They never miss a fly.
177. When baseball umpires aren’t happy with their pay they call more strikes.
178. Never hit the ump… The Umpire Strikes Back
179. Baseball players sometimes have sign-us trouble.
180. In a baseball season, a pitcher is worth a thousand blurs.

Funny Baseball Puns

1. I heard a joke from my friend about baseball. It left me in pitches!
2. Normally, you never see baseball players living near a road named Line Drive, but you can often see them living near baseball parks!
3. It takes much longer to run from the second base to the third than from the first to second as there is a shortstop in the middle.
4. Every time after playing a baseball game, I wash my bat in the bleachers!
5. The only superhero who loves playing baseball is Batman!
6. Many baseball players like visiting parks as they have many swings!
7. Baseball players are also said to be excellent singers as they have perfect pitches!
8. Never ever call a baseball player a monster. He might really be one of them doubleheader monsters!
9. Baseball players hate joining unions as they are afraid of being called out on strikes!
10. The baseball player had to close his personal website as he was not getting any hits!
11. Matches don’t like playing baseball as, after only one strike, they are out!
12. Baseball players are known for staying cool because they are always close to their fans.
13. Coal diggers can never play baseball in the major leagues as they all play in the miner leagues!
14. 40. I wanted to tell my friend a joke about his catching style but decided not to because it contained foul language!
15. In the game, the fans couldn’t get soda pop at the doubleheader. It was due to the fact that the home team lost the opener!
16. When his team was losing, the manager decided to feature a mummy into the game as a pinch hitter. On seeing this, the commentator said that this means the game will be wrapped up very soon!
17. When a baseball pitcher goes to the market to buy a carpet, he usually ends up buying a throw rug!
18. If you ever find a cookie dough in the first base, a brownie mix in the second, and a pudding in the third, then it can be safely said that the hitter at the pitch is a cake batter.
19. The players had to stay in line else there would be afoul of the rules!
20. My brother can play soccer, tennis, baseball, basketball. He is a jock of all trades!
21. Baseball players are excellent in convincing fans about their chances of winning the MLB as they are outstanding pitchers.
22. My baseball coach asked me if I could throw good curveballs, but he wanted a straight answer!
23. Cinderella was a poor baseball player, she had right a pumpkin for a coach!
24. After getting tired of the boring game, my son said to me, “Okay Pop, fly me out of here”.
25. People say I’m too aggressive when I’m trading baseball cards. It’s because I’m Ruthless.
26. Did you hear about the baseball player who can spot a fast food restaurant from miles away? He leads the league in Arby eyes.
27. Baseball has to be the most nostalgic sport Cause no matter if they are right or left-handed batters, they always hit close to home.
28. I was wondering why my baseball was getting bigger. But then it hit me!
29. Ever wondered why China doesn’t have a baseball team? Because they ate all their bats.
30. Have you heard about the disease named after a baseball skill? It’s catching
31. China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat

Baseball pun captions

1. You’re a catch
2. Pitches be crazy
3. You’rea real home run
4. I may be off base but we should date sometimes
5. Have your day in full swing
6. Baater up you have less than one week left
7. You’re my pinch hitter.
8. It’s a sliding into home kinda day.
9. I hit a home run when I met you
10. The most important pitch is the next one.

Baseball jokes

1. Why don’t orphan kids play baseball? – They don’t know where home is.
2. What do roosters have in common with baseball? – Fowl balls.
3. Why hasn’t baseball returned from covid shutdown? – They are unable to test all the bats
4. Which baseball player makes flapjacks? – The batter!
5. What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common? – They are both sluggers!
6. The baseball team hired a baker as they needed a good batter in the team.
7. The only difference between an umpire and pickpocket is the former watches steals while the latter steals watches!
8. Baseball players in Charlotte are required to wear armors when they play knight games.
9. As the ball left the glove, the glove cheekily said, “Catch you later!”
10. During lunch, all the catchers in the team usually sit behind the plate.
11. The friend told me many baseball bat puns and jokes, but I didn’t get any of it. Guess they just flew above my head!
12. There are special rules if a zebra plays baseball. Three stripes, and you are out!
13. I was uncertain as to why the baseball got bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
14. Cinderella was banned from the baseball team as she left during the middle of the ball.
15. The baseball team decided to hire a ghost in their team. It was said that it would improve the team spirit!
16. While driving, baseball players are urged to keep their necessary documents in the glove compartment.
17. A designated baseball player in the team always holds water for others. He is given the title of the pitcher.
18. Baseball games usually take place during the night as bats sleep during the day.
19. The only difference between a dentist and a Yankee fan is that the former yanks for roots while the latter roots for the Yanks!
20. I asked my friend if he wanted to got the park to play one game of baseball. He seemed a bit undecided, but I said this should be an easy choice with no ifs and bunts.
21. The only similarity between a fly’s father and high hit baseball is that both of them are a pop fly!
22. The baseball player was seen visiting the library. But it was for just five minutes as it was a shortstop!
23. The police went to the baseball game as someone reported that the second base was stolen!
24. Frogs are excellent baseball players. They are brilliant at catching fly balls!
25. In the baseball team, the sales department gave the batters a short and fastpitch on new merchandise. But unfortunately, it didn’t matter as they all missed it!
26. Baseball players usually have their lunch and dinner at home plates!
27. If you ask a baseball player to bake a cake, they usually do it with oven mitts, a batter, and bundt pans!
28. It is unwise to play the game of baseball in the jungle as there are so many players who are cheetahs!
29. The tennis player asked the baseball player for help as he wanted to score a grand slam.
30. The umpire was angry at the baseball player for imitating a chicken to distract the batter and having a foul mouth.

Intelligent Baseball Puns

1. Basketball players are excellent in MCQs. They know how to strike the correct boxes!
2. My wife and I both played baseball at high school. That’s how we hit it off!
3. I called Paul, who was a baseball executive, for game tickets. He wasn’t available due to being an extremely busy guy who has a lot on his plate.
4. The reason why some umpires become fatter with time is that they always clean their plates!
5. After a busy day, the baseball team wanted to catch one of Breaking Bat episodes before hitting bed!
6. The umpired asked the video analyst for his number during the game. It was the only way he could make a call!
7. Making pancakes is precisely like a game of baseball. It would be best if you had excellent batters for both.
8. Most of the time, baseball batters go for a handmade bat as they can be delivered very fast. Machine-made bats are always delivered lathe!
9. I was watching a baseball game highlight on YouTube, but the pop-up ads kept on annoying me.
10. The baseball player was arrested by the police. He was always trying to steal!
11. Baseball players make a lot of money because their bases are all loaded most of the time!
12. The baseball meeting between players today was okayish. The coach thought that, overall, it was a toss-up.
13. The puppy who ran onto the baseball game got walked off!
14. The batter, unfortunately, swallowed his chewing gum in martial arts class- looks like this was a classic example of a baseball choke.
15. Oranges are set to replace the baseball to zest up the game!
16. There was a legendary tree which is considered the greatest baseball player in the plant world. His name is Babe Root.
17. Baseball is a dangerous game and is a pitched battle. If it were a contest of any kind, I would have cleaned it up!
18. The baseball fell down in the drain. I think it is now a foul ball!
19. Statistics have improved a lot and have made the game of baseball more entertaining. Nowadays, all the players are running around the databases.
20. 70. The vampire didn’t want to be part of the team as he was allowed to be only a batboy.
21. After failing in repeated tests requiring to draw a baseball bat, the drawing teacher shouted at me, “One more, and you’re out!”
22. The new batter who came from overseas became an instant hit!
23. We should never sing while playing baseball as one will never be able to pitch properly!

Puns That Are Out Of The Park

1. A baseball player who loses big games consecutively goes into the throws of depression.
2. It is unwise to play baseball on a foggy and rainy day. Everything will either be a hit or mist!
3. While on a countrywide trip, the baseball team made shortstops in every town.
4. The coach was adamant in polishing the new batter’s skill as he was a rough diamond!
5. The only thing which has 18 legs and can catch flies is a baseball team!
6. Whenever a baseball player requires new clothes and uniforms, he visits New Jersey.
7. Baseball players usually succeed in selling their memorabilia because they have great pitches!
8. Personally, I prefer baseball to football. It is a batter game without one single shred of doubt!
9. Candlestick Park is known to be too windy. It is probably due to the presence of all the Giant fans!
10. When a baseball player joined the army, he was asked to take rounds around the military bases!
11. The coach of the team was enjoying this season and said that the baseball games were in full swing.
12. It is incredibly unwise of a baseball player to wear red in the bullpen.
13. Baseball players are good chemists as they are very good with bases!
14. Girls are extremely fond of baseball. It is the only game in the whole world that is played on a diamond!
15. The new player was criticized left, right, and center after failing to perform well. I guess they are always expected to perform right off the bat!
16. The baseball coach went to a car dealer to get a new vehicle and told him to give his best sales pitch!