115+ Bat Puns & Jokes

Best Bat Puns

1. The first thing bats learn in school is the alphabat.
2. If you cross a vampire bat and a computer, you will end up with love at first byte.
3. The most a bat lands in belfry, it changes its identity to a dingbat.
4. The main reason why vampire bats drink lots of blood is because any attempt at coffee keeps them awake the entire night.
5. Girl vampires have a very interesting way of flirting. They bat their eyes.
6. In the animal kingdom, bats are the only skilled in playing baseball.
7. Have you ever discovered that all vampire bats have false teeth? The reason is, they come out at night.
8. The bat was so angry and said to the vampire, “you really suck.”
9. There are many ways of holding a bat, but the best is by the handle.
10. When you cross a vampire with an ice cube, you end up with a frost bite.
11. Most softball games are played at night because the bats have to sleep during the day.
12. When you cross a lonely hearts club and a bat, you will end up with lots of blind dates.
13. There is a lot of activities that bats engage in at night, but the most prominent is aerobatics.
14. The correct name for a little bat though not endorsed in the world’s leading dictionaries is a battle.
15. Vampires regularly use mouthwash because they have such bat breath.
16. Bats are spendthrifts, they keep most of their money in blood banks.
17. There is no friendship greater than that of bats. They always hang around together.
18. A vampire bat enters his house through the bat flap.
19. School going vampires carry their books in bat packs.
20. When baking cakes, vampires use batter.
21. The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
22. Vampires have a special newspaper where their obatuaries are printed when they die.
23. Vampires are seasoned baseball players, they practice in batting cages.
24. When you cross a cow and a vampire, you end up with a hamburger that bites back.
25. The witches team lost their opening baseball game because all their bats flew away.
26. Vampires rarely take a shower, but when they do, they have a special bat room reserved for them.
27. The favorite keep fit game for Draculas is batminton.
28. All the little witches loved playing bats cradle at school.
29. Though they fly at night, bats do not bump into anything. They have wing mirrors to coordinate their flights.
30. Casketball has been listed as one of the sports registering huge populations of bats.
31. When the geeky bat cracked the code, everyone couldn’t help but congratulate them for being such bloody brilliant.
32. Bat counselors only have one advice for their clients. Just hang in there.
33. The greatest movie ever produced incorporating vampire actors is the bat-tle of the blood bath.
34. After missing a day of school, the bat said to his best friend, “Welcome bat, you haven’t missed a lot.”
35. The markets that bats avoid at all cost is the flea markets.
36. When the little dog saw the huge bat hanging at the balcony, it came in so terrier-fied.
37. Little bats are fond of drinking the alpha-bat soup.
38. When bats lose their tails, they go to a re-tail store.
39. Robin got kicked off the baseball team because he forgot his bat, man!
40. After taking a shower, a vampire stands on a bat mat.
41. A bat can easily make new friends with a sound wave.
42. What is the most favourite fruit of bats? – It must be neck-tarines!
43. A young bat can experience a lot of things in life by hanging out.

Bat Jokes

1. Two bats were hanging upside down in a cave. The first bat asks the second, “Do you remember the worst day of your life?” “I sure do,” said the second bat. “It was the day I had diarrhea.”
2. I keep a bat in my bedroom for protection.

It makes me feel safe but it also keeps pooping in my ear.

3. A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave. Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: “What the heck are you doing down there?” And the fellow shouts back: “Yoga!”
4. I made a bat joke.

It went viral.

5. What’s a bat’s favorite holiday?

Fangs-giving.

6. What’s the difference between Batman and a shoplifter?

Batman can go into a store without Robin.

7. What did Batman do when he went shopping?

Got ham.

8. What does Batman put in his drinks?

Just ice.

9. What position did Bruce Wayne play on his baseball team?

He was the bat boy.

10. My girlfriend said I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to Batman.

What a Joker!

11. What does Batman do when he’s losing at cards?

He uses his Joker.

12. What is the first thing bats learn in school?

The alphabat.

13. What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?

Love at first byte.

14. What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?

You end up with frost bite.

15. Why are most softball games are played at night?

Because the bats have to sleep during the day.

16. What happens when you cross a lonely hearts club and a bat?

You end up with lots of blind dates.

17. There are a lot of activities that bats engage in at night, but the most prominent is aerobatics.
18. How does a vampire bat enter his house?

Through the bat flap.

19. Where do school-going vampires carry their books?

In bat-packs.

20. What do vampires use when baking cakes?

Batter.

21. Why did the witches team lose their opening baseball game?

Because all their bats flew away.

22. What advice do bat counselors give to their clients?

“Just hang in there.”

23. What did the bat say to his best friend after missing a day of school?

“Welcome bat, you haven’t missed a lot.”

24. What markets do bats avoid at all costs?

Flea markets.

25. What are little bats fond of drinking?

Alpha-bat soup.

26. Where do bats go when they lose their tails?

They go to a re-tail store.

27. What does a vampire do after taking a shower?

It stands on a bat mat.

28. How do bats make new friends?

With a sound wave.

29. What makes it OK for bats to just poop wherever they want?

For a bat, every room is the bat-room.

30. What did the rat say when he saw a bat?

“Oh my! I just saw an angel!”

31. Robin: “Batman, Batman, there is a problem with the Batmobile, it does not start.”

Batman: “Must be the battery.” Robin: “What is a tery?”

32. Me: “Dad I have bats in my attic.”

Dad: “Baseball or softball?”

33. Where do bats go to learn things?

To night school.

34. What did the bat do when he didn’t know the answer to the teacher’s question?

He winged it.

35. How do bats do the register at school?

In alpha-bat-ical order.

36. How do bats know what’s to come in their future?

They read their horror-scope.

37. What do bats have in common with dentures?

They both come out in the night.

38. Why do bats hate living on their own?

They want to hang out with their friends.

39. Who does the famous bat get letters from?

His fang club.

40. What did the bat say to the girl he liked?

“Let’s hang out together some time.”

41. Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?

To the blood bank.

42. What do bats say to vampires?

“You suck!”

43. Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?

Because they have bat tempers.

44. Why don’t vampires use the front door?

Because they use the bat flap instead.

45. What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?

Pancake batter.

46. What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?

I-scream!

47. Why are vampire bats so unpopular?

Because they’re a massive pain in the neck.

48. What’s a vampire bat’s favorite fruit?

A neck-tarine.

49. What do little witches like to play at school?

Bats cradle.

50. What is a vampire’s favorite sport?

Casketball.

51. What do you say to a bat who’s just found a donor?

Coagulations.

52. How does a vampire keep fit?

Batminton.

General Bat Puns & Wordplay

1. Happy Halloween, Bat-ches.
2. Had a fang-tastic costume this year.
3. This was my costume, for Bat-ter or for worse.
4. Am I into Halloween? You Bat I am.
5. I’m a Bad Bat-ch.
6. Sorry, I’m in a Bat mood today.
7. Bat vibes only.
8. Hey Jude, don’t make it Bat.
9. Be nice to me or I’ll give you a nasty Bat-itude.
10. Couldn’t com-Bat my urge to party.
11. Came to Bat.
12. Fang-girling over my costume this year.
13. Out here Bat-tling for “Best Costume”.
14. You Bat-ter have a great Halloween!
15. Let me be your wingman (or wingwoman).
16. If you liked it then you shoulda put a Wing on it.
17. Wasn’t sure about my costume this Halloween so I decided to Wing it.
18. Just Hanging around.
19. What do you call a bat that works at the circus?
    An acro-bat.
20. What do you call a bat that supports you?
    A wing-man (or woman).
21. Why was the bat so grumpy?
    It was having a Bat day.
22. What do you call it when two bats fight?