Tennis Puns & Jokes
- Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception?
Because that was a terrible call.
- The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
- Do you always play this badly at the net?
Because I don’t like your approach.
- Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes.
I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
- Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis?
He has a great four-hand.
- Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
- American Indians used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes.
They called it the A Tee Pee Tour.
- Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass.
- Is there a bathroom in this tennis club?
Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
- I know my shot was in.
But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
- An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament.
No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
- I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls.
When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
- The guy missed both his serves on match point.
I won by de-fault.
- Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time.
It was a draw.
- You can never get short balls over the net!
Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
- Too bad my serve hit the tape.
Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
- Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
- Tennis is a lot like waiting tables.
The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
- I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
- I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
- Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve?
Give me a break.
- I have one animal in my farm who I look up to more than Federer: GOAT.
- I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
- I really hate these strings.
I can feel it in my gut.
- Does this guy work with computers?
He looks like a hacker.
- The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
- Two birds played a tennis match.
Ironically, the one that made the worst calls was a Hawk….aye!
- I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on.
So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
- I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
- Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match.
It was not her fault she lost.
- My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
- What time should I book the court?
Let’s shoot for around tennish.
- I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air.
I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
- I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
- The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me.
I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
- I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
- A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
- A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate.
He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
- I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
- I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
- They call me Ace, because you just got served.
- Is it ad-out again?
I’m going to hit my breaking point.
- Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners.
We need to sitter down and have a talk.
- I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
- If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads.
Every point will be a smash hit.
- Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
- Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding.
Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
- The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
- The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
- Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments.
I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
- It feels great to hit the ball again.
It spin a long time.
Best Tennis Puns
- The retired tennis player didn’t make a great waiter because he kept saying “You Got Served!”
- The man with four hands is a great tennis player because of his four-hand.
- Players at the local tennis club were unable to surf the web because there were problems with the server.
- My neighbor hates tennis because he says it makes too much racquet.
- The indoor tennis facility was famous for serving bubble tea.
- Tennis players often marry for the money because love doesn’t means anything to them.
- The ghost loved tennis, he especially loved playing the game on the tennis corpse!
- The tennis player was not allowed to take out books at the library about aces because he never returned them.
- I just bought a second-hand tennis racquet for just $5 with no strings attached.
- The tennis player needed to go to anger management classes because he kept reaching his breaking point.
- A young tennis player has to be home in bed by around ten-nish in order to become a better player.
- The tennis player always had bad cellphone reception at the stadium due to a bad call.
- The amateur tennis player was really bat at the net, the coach blamed it on his approach.
- The tennis player never was able to get dates because of all of the backhanded compliments.
- She told the judge Shank-You, after she framed the ball for a winner.
- It was no surprise to anyone that the strawberry and the apple seeded very well in the tennis tournament.
- Tennis scoring will never change because it has been around for decades and set in those ways.
- The tennis pro enjoyed his breakfast and tennis grip continental.
- Billy got the nickname Ace because he kept getting served.
- She broke up with the tennis player because she felt he was just stringing her along.
- A tennis ball can be served but should not be eaten.
- The girl standing in the center of the tennis court was nicknamed Annette.
- Fish hate playing tennis because they will not go anywhere near the net.
- Never start dating tennis players because of the fact that love means absolutely nothing to them.
- Tennis players make difficult customers in restaurants because they keep returning everything.
- The two tennis players decided that their first date would be at the tennis ball.
- When little Johnny was asked what comes before tennis, he simply answered nine-ish.
- The best way to tell if your tennis instructor does not like your serve is if they keep returning it.
- It was very dark inside the tennis players how because he refused to admit the light-bulbs were out.
- Tennis players hope to eventually retire in Volley-wood.
- The reason that tennis matches can take forever to play is because the lines are so long.
- Most tennis players admit that they have low self-esteem due to the fact they have many faults.
- The only tennis tournament that never closes is the OPEN.
- My friend Evelyn tells me that the state with the most tennis players is Tennis-see.
- The tennis coach and the dentist became good friends because they both worked with drills.
- It is not a good idea to play tennis in a court because you could get arrested.
- A horse’s favorite sport is of course stable tennis.
- Players love tennis because even though you live just once, you are able to serve twice.
- The tennis player was fired from the team because he was always getting smashed after the matches.
- The prank caller wanted to be a tennis referee because he was always making terrible calls.
- The young tennis player would not date anyone because she didn’t like their approach.
- Terrible Tommy was the worst tennis player and was nicknamed cream cheese because he kept getting bageled.
- When the two tennis matches were scheduled simultaneously, it was considered a draw.
- Elmo has gotten better at tennis since he decided to stick to a healthy diet that was glue-ten free.
- The tennis player wasn’t good at persuading other tennis players, so she hired a lob-byist.
- Roger Federer keeps getting drunk in the club because all of the shots are on the baseline.
- Do you know why dogs are so good at playing tennis? – Because they have strong four-hand.
Funny Tennis Puns
- Don’t be a deuce.
- I’m in love when I beat you
- You just got served
- It spin a long time
- You make quite the racquet
- That felt like a backhanded compliment
- Orange and Apple are playing today which is no surprise since they are both seeded
- Have you seen my balls?
- Kiss my ace
- Tennis anyone?
- Baby got back hand
Other Tennis Puns
- You can score all the points tonight, I’ll be in love
- I’m read to see some doubles
- Why are dogs good at tennis? They have great four-hand
- If you want a soft serve, go to Dairy Queen
- If you can return my serve, I’ll return your call
- Annette is always in my way when I serve
- Hey, let’s squash it right now!
- Do you always play this poorly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach
- Tennis starts with love
- Are you in computer software because you seem like a hacker