Time Travelling Funny Puns
- I heard a great time travel joke tomorrow.
- I was voted ‘Most likely to travel back in time, class of 2056’.
- I was thinking about an old car I owned that got stuck in reverse gear. That took me back.
- Light travels faster than sound. Turns out that’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- When the past, present and future go camping they always argue. It’s intense tense in tents.
Clock Watching Time Puns
- A friend bought me a watch for my birthday, but it stopped working the second day. I’ve not told them yet. It’s never the right time.
- 11:59:59 is my favourite time of day – it’s second to noon.
- I held my wristwatch up to the mirror. It was time for reflection.
- Yesterday I bought six watches. You could say I have a lot of time on my hands.
- I got a new 24-hour clock yesterday and it’s broken already. It only lasted a day.
- How can you tell when your clock is really hungry? It goes back four seconds.
- A man I know tried to make a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
- 6:30 is the best time, hands down.
- The wristwatch didn’t believe the story the clock was telling it. It was second hand information.
- Whatever you do, don’t tick off the clock.
- The man across the street is always sitting on his clock. He says he wanted to be on time.
More Time One-Liners And Puns
- My sister has taken up eating watches, but it takes a while to get through each one. It’s time consuming.
- My neighbour was always late until he started sleeping in his herb garden. Now he wakes up on thyme.
- I keep meaning to look for my missing watch but I can never find the time.
- I say, they’re finally making a movie about clocks. It’s about time.
- Our dog is called Rolex. He’s a watch dog.
- My clock at home stopped working. Turns out it just needed a hand to get going.
- I always take my watch off before sharing a secret. Because time will tell.
- The book on chronology I ordered has finally arrived in the mail. It’s about time.
- My best friend and I played hide and seek today. It went on for hours. Good friends are hard to find.
Career In Time Puns
- I wanted to do some over time at work. So I put the clock under my desk.
- I asked the boss if I could leave early and he said yes as long as I made up the time. I said ‘sure, it’s half past 13’.
- If I wanted to have the time of my life I’d work in a clock factory.
- The robber broke into the clock shop and shouted ‘hands up’.
- I can’t believe I got fired from the watch factory after all the extra hours I put in.
Time Jokes and Puns
- What happens if you annoy a clock?
You might just tick off!
- What do wall clocks do after they stop ticking?
Probably just hang around.
- I bought a 24-hour clock yesterday but it has stopped working already.
It only lasted a day!
- What do you call a clever clock?
- “At the third stroke it will be 5 o’clock, my precious,” said my brand new Tolkien clock.
There’s a contest to find the country’s best chronometer.
- So, I have put my clock forward.
My husband was not happy with the castle-shaped clock I bought for his birthday.
But it’s the fort that counts!
- I don’t want to see that clock on its phone anymore.
The TikToks are so annoying!
- What do you call a clock on the moon?
- What do you call candy that never arrives on time?
- I wonder why the historian measured a clock.
Maybe he wanted to know the beginning and the end of time.
- is the best time on the clock…
- Eating a clock is really time-consuming if you go for seconds.
- They are finally making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time!
- What do you call a belt made out of clocks?
A waist of time!
- If the Leaning Tower of Pisa gets a clock face, it will have time and inclination.
- What does it mean if you see a billboard with a picture of a wall clock on it?
It’s a sign of the times.
- It’s only a matter of time before clocks take over the world.
- Why did the girl put an alarm clock in her shoe?
She didn’t want her feet to fall asleep.
- I wonder why my alarm watch doesn’t work.
Perhaps it needs a hand.
- I went to the Halloween party as an alarm timer.
But it was really irritating when people started to wind me up!
- My husband got me a timer clock out of the blue.
I was alarmed!
- What do you call a story that one watch tells to another?
- Why did the man throw his watch out of the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
- I got fired from the watchmaking factory even after all those extra hours I put in!
- A pocket watch is best for people who don’t like to have time on their hands.
- What is another name for a grandfather clock?
An old timer!
- What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
“Look Grandpa, I have no hands!”
- What do you say when you find out that your grandfather clock is infested with bugs?
- Why is it difficult to bring yourself to get rid of a grandfather clock?
Because it’s a timeless piece.
- Why was the clock called to the principal’s office?
It was tocking too much!
- Do you know when ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
- What do you get when you cross a chicken and a clock?
- How do you know a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds!
- How do clocks greet each other?
They say, “Hour you doing?”
- Do you know why pendulums stop moving?
They lose their swing!
- What did the tick ask the clock?
“Hey, what are you tocking about?”
- Why do some cuckoos not come out of their door?
They probably have stage fright!
- What does the second hand say to the hour hand when they meet?
“See you again in a minute buddy!”
- What do street clocks say to the tower clocks?
- Where did the clock finish her race?
Wherever she wound up.
- What do you call it when you put a clock under your desk?
Working over time.
- What time is it when an elephant sits on a clock?
Time to get a new clock.
- Why should you stop to purchase a clock when you’re running late?
That way, you buy time!
- Why did the scientist put a wristwatch into the flask?
He wanted a timely solution to his research problem.
- What do you call it when a shop gives out clocks with half a face at a good discount?
A limited-time sale.
- Why did Bob Dylan adjust all of the clocks?
He said, “For the times they are a-changin.’”
- Why do wealthy people buy a lot of clocks?
Time is money!
- How do you know that witches are carrying time bombs?
You hear their brooms tick.
- A man was starting a new job and didn’t want to be late. So he went to the clockmakers and asked to buy a potato clock.The clockmaker was puzzled and asked, “What’s a potato clock?” The man replied, “I don’t know. I told my wife I didn’t want to be late to work, so she told me to get a potato clock.”
- What do you call the girl with the hourglass figure?
A waist of time.
- I asked if I could leave work early the other day and the boss said, sure, if I made up the time.
I said, “No problem, it’s 20 past 14.”
Time Puns That Beat the Clock – Box of Puns
- I tried to eat a clock. It was time-consuming.
- A belt with a watch is a waist of time.
- It’s about time they made a movie about clocks.
- 11:59:59 is the best time. Second to noon.
- My boss asked me to work overtime. So, I put a clock under my desk.
- I worked at a clock factory a few years back. It was the time of my life.
- You can’t trust a watch with your secrets because time will tell.
- I sat on a clock to be on time.
- You can tell that a clock is hungry if it goes back four seconds.
- The only animal that understands time is a watch dog.
- The most popular time to go to the dentist is tooth-hurty.
- I was running late, so I bought a clock to buy time.
- My grandfather’s clock is also called an old timer.
- I threw my clock to see time fly.
- I lost my job at the clock factory. Even after all those hours, I put in.
- I put an alarm clock in my shoe to ensure that my feet don’t fall asleep.
- I used a timer for the first time. It alarmed me.
- My favorite herb is time.
- The clock got in trouble because it was tocking too much.
- Choco-late is never on time.
- A thief stole a clock at 10:10, and the police said, “hands up.”
- I was going to look for my lost watch, but I could never find the time.
- The clock wasn’t working. It needed a hand.
- Scientists put a watch in a beaker to find a timely solution.
- The clock was outside because it was in time out.
- I measured a clock to find the beginning and end of time.
- Hour you doing?