110+ Time Puns & Jokes

Time Travelling Funny Puns

1. I heard a great time travel joke tomorrow.
2. I was voted ‘Most likely to travel back in time, class of 2056’.
3. I was thinking about an old car I owned that got stuck in reverse gear. That took me back.
4. Light travels faster than sound. Turns out that’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
5. When the past, present and future go camping they always argue. It’s intense tense in tents.

Clock Watching Time Puns

1. A friend bought me a watch for my birthday, but it stopped working the second day. I’ve not told them yet. It’s never the right time.
2. 11:59:59 is my favourite time of day – it’s second to noon.
3. I held my wristwatch up to the mirror. It was time for reflection.
4. Yesterday I bought six watches. You could say I have a lot of time on my hands.
5. I got a new 24-hour clock yesterday and it’s broken already. It only lasted a day.
6. How can you tell when your clock is really hungry? It goes back four seconds.
7. A man I know tried to make a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
8. 6:30 is the best time, hands down.
9. The wristwatch didn’t believe the story the clock was telling it. It was second hand information.
10. Whatever you do, don’t tick off the clock.
11. The man across the street is always sitting on his clock. He says he wanted to be on time.

More Time One-Liners And Puns

1. My sister has taken up eating watches, but it takes a while to get through each one. It’s time consuming.
2. My neighbour was always late until he started sleeping in his herb garden. Now he wakes up on thyme.
3. I keep meaning to look for my missing watch but I can never find the time.
4. I say, they’re finally making a movie about clocks. It’s about time.
5. Our dog is called Rolex. He’s a watch dog.
6. My clock at home stopped working. Turns out it just needed a hand to get going.
7. I always take my watch off before sharing a secret. Because time will tell.
8. The book on chronology I ordered has finally arrived in the mail. It’s about time.
9. My best friend and I played hide and seek today. It went on for hours. Good friends are hard to find.

Career In Time Puns

1. I wanted to do some over time at work. So I put the clock under my desk.
2. I asked the boss if I could leave early and he said yes as long as I made up the time. I said ‘sure, it’s half past 13’.
3. If I wanted to have the time of my life I’d work in a clock factory.
4. The robber broke into the clock shop and shouted ‘hands up’.
5. I can’t believe I got fired from the watch factory after all the extra hours I put in.

Time Jokes and Puns

• What happens if you annoy a clock?

You might just tick off!

• What do wall clocks do after they stop ticking?

Probably just hang around.

• I bought a 24-hour clock yesterday but it has stopped working already.

It only lasted a day!

• What do you call a clever clock?

Clockwise.

• “At the third stroke it will be 5 o’clock, my precious,” said my brand new Tolkien clock.

There’s a contest to find the country’s best chronometer.

• So, I have put my clock forward.

My husband was not happy with the castle-shaped clock I bought for his birthday.

But it’s the fort that counts!

• I don’t want to see that clock on its phone anymore.

The TikToks are so annoying!

• What do you call a clock on the moon?

A lunartick.

• What do you call candy that never arrives on time?

Choco-late.

• I wonder why the historian measured a clock.

Maybe he wanted to know the beginning and the end of time.

• is the best time on the clock…

Hands down.

• Eating a clock is really time-consuming if you go for seconds.
• They are finally making a movie about clocks.

It’s about time!

• What do you call a belt made out of clocks?

A waist of time!

• If the Leaning Tower of Pisa gets a clock face, it will have time and inclination.
• What does it mean if you see a billboard with a picture of a wall clock on it?

It’s a sign of the times.

• It’s only a matter of time before clocks take over the world.
• Why did the girl put an alarm clock in her shoe?

She didn’t want her feet to fall asleep.

• I wonder why my alarm watch doesn’t work.

Perhaps it needs a hand.

• I went to the Halloween party as an alarm timer.

But it was really irritating when people started to wind me up!

• My husband got me a timer clock out of the blue.

I was alarmed!

• What do you call a story that one watch tells to another?

Second-hand information.

• Why did the man throw his watch out of the window?

He wanted to see time fly.

• I got fired from the watchmaking factory even after all those extra hours I put in!
• A pocket watch is best for people who don’t like to have time on their hands.
• What is another name for a grandfather clock?

An old timer!

• What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?

“Look Grandpa, I have no hands!”

• What do you say when you find out that your grandfather clock is infested with bugs?

“Time flies!”

• Why is it difficult to bring yourself to get rid of a grandfather clock?

Because it’s a timeless piece.

• Why was the clock called to the principal’s office?

It was tocking too much!

• Do you know when ducks wake up?

At the quack of dawn!

• What do you get when you cross a chicken and a clock?

A cluck.

• How do you know a clock is hungry?

It goes back four seconds!

• How do clocks greet each other?

They say, “Hour you doing?”

• Do you know why pendulums stop moving?

They lose their swing!

• What did the tick ask the clock?

“Hey, what are you tocking about?”

• Why do some cuckoos not come out of their door?

They probably have stage fright!

• What does the second hand say to the hour hand when they meet?

“See you again in a minute buddy!”

• What do street clocks say to the tower clocks?

“High there!”

• Where did the clock finish her race?

Wherever she wound up.

• What do you call it when you put a clock under your desk?

Working over time.

• What time is it when an elephant sits on a clock?

Time to get a new clock.

• Why should you stop to purchase a clock when you’re running late?

That way, you buy time!

• Why did the scientist put a wristwatch into the flask?

He wanted a timely solution to his research problem.

• What do you call it when a shop gives out clocks with half a face at a good discount?

A limited-time sale.

• Why did Bob Dylan adjust all of the clocks?

He said, “For the times they are a-changin.’”

• Why do wealthy people buy a lot of clocks?

Time is money!

• How do you know that witches are carrying time bombs?

You hear their brooms tick.

• A man was starting a new job and didn’t want to be late. So he went to the clockmakers and asked to buy a potato clock.The clockmaker was puzzled and asked, “What’s a potato clock?” The man replied, “I don’t know. I told my wife I didn’t want to be late to work, so she told me to get a potato clock.”
• What do you call the girl with the hourglass figure?

A waist of time.

• I asked if I could leave work early the other day and the boss said, sure, if I made up the time.

I said, “No problem, it’s 20 past 14.”

Time Puns That Beat the Clock – Box of Puns

1. I tried to eat a clock. It was time-consuming.
2. A belt with a watch is a waist of time.
3. It’s about time they made a movie about clocks.
4. 11:59:59 is the best time. Second to noon.
5. My boss asked me to work overtime. So, I put a clock under my desk.
6. I worked at a clock factory a few years back. It was the time of my life.
7. You can’t trust a watch with your secrets because time will tell.
8. I sat on a clock to be on time.
9. You can tell that a clock is hungry if it goes back four seconds.
10. The only animal that understands time is a watch dog.
11. The most popular time to go to the dentist is tooth-hurty.
12. I was running late, so I bought a clock to buy time.
13. My grandfather’s clock is also called an old timer.
14. I threw my clock to see time fly.
15. I lost my job at the clock factory. Even after all those hours, I put in.
16. I put an alarm clock in my shoe to ensure that my feet don’t fall asleep.
17. I used a timer for the first time. It alarmed me.
18. My favorite herb is time.
19. The clock got in trouble because it was tocking too much.
20. Choco-late is never on time.
21. A thief stole a clock at 10:10, and the police said, “hands up.”
22. I was going to look for my lost watch, but I could never find the time.
23. The clock wasn’t working. It needed a hand.
24. Scientists put a watch in a beaker to find a timely solution.
25. The clock was outside because it was in time out.
26. I measured a clock to find the beginning and end of time.
27. Hour you doing?