Elephant Jokes
- Why did the elephants get kicked out of the pool?
Their trunks kept falling down.
- Why doesn’t the elephant use the computer?
Because it is afraid of the mouse!
- There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn’t they get wet?
It wasn’t raining.
- What do you call elephants who ride on trains?
Passengers.
- What game should you never play with an elephant?
Squash.
- How can you tell that elephants are always ready for an adventure?
They’ve always got their trunks ready to go.
- What do you get if you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming Trunks!
- How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time
- What is large, grey, and wears glass slippers?
Cinderelephant.
- How do you stop an elephant from smelling?
Tie a knot in his trunk.
- What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
He called a tow truck.
- How do you prevent an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card.
- Where do baby elephants come from?
GIANT storks.
- How do you get an elephant up a tree?
Plant an acorn. Have the elephant stand on top of where you planted it. Wait 50 years.
- What’s big and grey with horns?
An elephant marching band!
- What do you get when an elephant skydives?
A big hole.
- What is big, grey, and has a lot of red bumps?
An elephant with Chicken Pox.
- What’s the same size and shape as an elephant but weighs nothing?
An elephant’s shadow.
- Why couldn’t the two elephants go swimming together?
Because they only had one pair of trunks!
- What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
“Look, a herd of elephants in the distance”
- What was the elephant doing on the freeway?
About 5 mph.
- Why do elephants wear sandals?
So that they don’t sink in the sand.
- What did the peanut say to the elephant?
Nothing. Peanuts can’t talk.
- What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing. It just let out a little whine.
- What time is it when you find an elephant in your car?
Time to get a new car.
- Why do elephants need trunks?
Because they don’t have glove compartments.
- Why can’t an elephant ride a bicycle?
Because he doesn’t have thumbs to ring the bell.
- What do you call an elephant with an extra-long trunk?
Smellephant.
- What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Great big holes all over Australia.
- Why are elephants so wrinkly?
Well, have you ever tried to iron one?
- What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence.
- What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
“Tusk, tusk!”
- Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
Because they sold the world’s best mice.
- Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken retired!
- How do you know an elephant is under your bed?
Because when you get in, your nose touches the ceiling.
Funny elephant in the room quotes
- “When there’s an elephant in the room introduce him.” — Randy Pausch
- “When there’s an elephant in the room, you can’t pretend it isn’t there and just discuss the ants.” — Ellen Wittlinger
- “When there is an invisible elephant in the room, one is from time to time bound to trip over a trunk.” — Karen Joy Fowler
- “It was the pink elephant in the room, the thunderous fart in the elevator.” —David Wong
- “Never ignore the elephant in the room. That’s rude; play with it and introduce it.” —Donna Lynn Hope
Elephant Puns
- What’s an elephant’s best talent?
Multi-tusking!
- What’s big, grey, wears a mask and loves to sing?
The Ele-phantom of the Opera!
- Why do bosses like to employ elephants?
Because they’ll work for peanuts!
- How do elephants get ready to go swimming?
They put their trunks on!
- What do you call an elephant that never takes a bath?
A smelly-phant!
- What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint!
- Why did the elephant start a stampede?
Because he wanted to be herd!
- What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash!
- What’s grey, wears glass slippers and ran away from the ball?
Cinder-elephant!
- What’s grey, jolly and delivers Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus!
- What did the grape say when the elephant stomped on it?
Nothing, but it let out a little wine!
- Which animals were last to arrive on the ark?
The elephants: they had to pack their trunks!
- What do you get when you cross a potato with an elephant?
Mashed potatoes!
- What do elephants and giant redwoods have in common?
They both have big trunks!
- What’s grey, has a wand and gives money to little elephants?
The tusk fairy!
- What’s the world’s biggest ant?
An elephant!
- What do you get when you cross elephants with fish?
Swimming trunks!
Elephants And Technology
- How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card!
- How do elephants communicate?
Using the elephone!
- What do elephants do to relax?
Watch elevision!
- Why don’t elephants work on computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse!
- What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet!
- What do you call a different kind of flying elephant?
A propellephant!
- What do you call an elephant with rotors on her head?
An ellie-copter!
- What do you call an elephant with an aerial on her head?
An elephant-enna!
Elephant One Liners
- Hunting elephants is illegal – as ivory well know!
- Did you hear about the elephant who hurt his toe and couldn’t walk? He had to call a tow truck!
- Did you know that an elephant‘s opinion carries a lot of weight!
- Did you hear about the the student elephant who was typing up her schoolwork on the computer? It was taking a long time because there was so many ele-fonts to choose from!
Elephant Sayings
- What’s an elephants favorite saying?
Elephant-astic!
- What did the Mummy elephant say to the little elephant when he was naughty?
Tusk tusk.
- What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
I love you a ton.
- What did the elephant say to her sad friend?
I’m ear for you.
- What did the elephant say when he saw his friend fly?
Now I’ve seen ivorything!
- What do you call an elephant with an opinion that doesn’t matter?
Irrelephant!