Best Crab Puns and Crab Jokes
- What do you call the greatest crab artist that ever lived?
Leonardo da Pinci.
- What is a crab’s favorite fruit?
The crab apple, of course!
- What’s it called when a crab walks to its part-time job?
A side hustle.
- How do you know when a crab has had too much fizzy drink?
It starts to walk in a straight line.
- Why did the crab keep all the seaweed to itself?
Because it was shellfish!
- How did the limpet cross the river?
She took a taxi crab.
- Customer, holding a crab under his arm: “Waiter, waiter, do you make crab cakes?”
Waiter: “Yes, we sure do.” Customer: “Good, because it’s his birthday.”
- Why was the crustacean so unhappy?
His mom was being really crabby.
- Did you hear about the crab that went to the gym?
He pulled a mussel.
- Why did the crab blush?
It saw the ocean’s bottom.
- How much salt do hermit crabs like on their food?
Just a pinch!
- What do you call a crab in self-isolation?
A hermit crab.
- What does a hermit crab call its home?
Michelle.
- Where do crabs sleep?
On the sea bed.
- What did the prawn say to the crab steering the ship?
“Ay, ay, Crabtain!”
- What do you call a crab that throws things?
A lobster.
- What do you call a pit stop that sells crabs and pizza?
A crust station.
- Why did the crab cross the road?
To get to the other tide.
- Who brings Christmas presents to young crabs?
Santa Claws.
- What did one hipster crab playing on its shellphone say to the other?
“Help me think of an Instagram crabtion!”
- Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?
King’s Crustacean.
- How does a crab feel when it eats too much?
Clawful!
- Where do crabs save all of their money?
In a sand bank.
- What would a crab do with an iPhone?
Take lots of shellfies!
- How do crabs get around on land?
They use the sidewalk.
- What kind of protective headgear does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met.
- What party game do crabs like to play?
Salmon Says.
- How does a crab answer the phone?
“Shello!”
- What do crabs do on their birthday?
They shellabrate!
- Why did the musical crab move to New York City?
It wanted to star in the crabaret.
- What do crabs order when they go to a coffee shop?
A cup of crab-uccino.
- How do crabs call their friends?
On a shell phone.
- What do you call a crab that’s afraid of small spaces?
Claw-strophobic.
- Where do crabs go to borrow money?
A prawn broker.
- Why don’t crabs like basketball?
They’re afraid of the net!
- What do crabs need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.
- What’s a crab’s favorite part about pizza?
That crust taste, son!
- Did you hear the crab president’s speech?
It was really crabtivating.
- Which chemical element accounts for the largest part in the body of crabs?
Crabon.
- Why do crabs do poorly in school?
They have a limited vocrabulary.
- What did the cannibal crab have for its birthday?
Crab cake.
- How did the crabs respond when the chef told them they were being served for dinner?
They were really steamed.
- What do you call a crab that’s green and sings but likes to stay home?
A Kermit crab.
- Where do crabs go when they need to catch public transport?
The Bustacean.
- What does the crab president call his trusted advisors?
His Crabinet.
- What did the crab police officer say when it pulled over a speeding shrimp?
“You have to abide by the claw.”
- Why did the crab decide to follow the Keto diet?
Crabohydrates made it bloat.
- What did one fish say to the other when they saw the chef crab a crab?
“Oh, buddy — he’s in hot water now.”
- What do you call a frugal crab?
A penny pincher.
- What’s a crab’s favorite song?
“Don’t Worry; Be Crabby.”
- Why did the crab get fired?
Because he was not moving the company forward.
- Why did the ocean roar?
Wouldn’t you if there were crabs underneath you?
Crab-Related Phrases
- Feel the pinch
- In a pinch
- Faster than a speeding crawfish
- Having a little nip
- Fishing for compliments
- Penny pincher
- Serious as cancer
- Red in tooth and claw
- He’s in hot water
- Smells fishy
Crab Jokes
- What did one tide-pool say to the other tide-pool? – Show me your mussels!
- Why was the sand wet? – Because the sea weed!
- How do oysters call their friends? – On shell phones!
- What is the strongest creature in the sea? – A mussel!
- Where do crabs go to borrow money? – The prawn broker!
- Why did the crab need a day off work? – (He pulled a mussel!)
- Who brings young crabs Christmas presents? – (Santa Claws!)
- How much salt do crabs like on their food? – (Just a pinch)
- So, this crab walks into a bar. The bartender says, “You look confused. Are you in the right place?” The crab replies, “Actually, I’m looking for a sand bar. “
Question & Answer Crab Puns
- What is the best job for a crab? A crab driver!
- Why was the hermit crab embarrassed? Because the sea weed!
- Where do crabs and lobsters save all of their money? In a sea bank!
- What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear? A shell-met!
- How to crabs call their friends? On a shell phone!
- Where do shellfish go to borrow money? To a prawn broker!
- Why didn’t the crab and lobster share their food with the octopus? Because they are shellfish!
- What is a crabs favourite fruit? Crab apples!
- Why was the crustacean unhappy? Because his mum was being really crabby!
- What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A Crab!
- How could the crab afford to buy a new house? He prawned everything!
- Why did the crab get bad grades? Because it was below C level!
- How does a crab go when it’s right? Snap!
- What did the wandering crab say when it finally made its way back to the ocean? Long time no sea!
- What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty? It-piers we have a problem!
- What does a lobster say when he’s confused? Can you please be more pacific?!
- What does the crab say when she’s disagreeing with the lobster? I don’t quite sea it that way!
- How does the crab answer the phone? “Shello?!”
- What do you call a crab who is afraid of small spaces? Claw-strophobic!
- How do crabs leave the hospital? On crotches!
More Crab Puns
- I think you’re clawsome!
- Feel the pinch.
- Just beclaws I love you.
- Have a crab-u-lous day!
- Let’s get cracking!
- Let’s all clam down shell we?!
- The truth shell set you free!
- Fishing for compliments.
- In a pinch!
- Seek and you shell find!
- I’m just crabbing!
- Please crab me a glass of water!
- I shrimply don’t like shellfish!
- The lobster is one shell of an animal!
Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Crab
Crab who?
Crab me a snack please!
- Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Water
Water who?
Water you waiting for?! Let’s go crabbing!
- Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ivan
Ivan who?
Ivan awful headache after reading all these crab puns!
One Liners
- I’d give you my best one liners here, but I’m too shellfish!
- A good crab joke is hard to crack!
- Don’t bother me today, I’m feeling a little bit crabby!
- Life just seems to be two steps sideways then one step back!
- Crabs are bad at learning a new language because they never care about the vo-crab-ulary!
- You should never make friends with crabs because they’re all so crabby!
- The hermit crab refused to go in its shell because it was claw-strophobic!
- The crab is telling jokes, but nobody laughs because they are all crabby jokes!”.
- A great bit of advice from a hermit crab: “It’s ok to come out of your shell and think outside the box!”
- I used to look for shellfish at my local beach every day, until one day I pulled a mussel!
- Crabs always add a pinch of salt to their meals!
- I pulled a muscle today, I stayed clam!
- There’s an underwater version of Paw Patrol starring crabs, it’s called Claw Patrol!