100+ Crab Puns & Jokes

Best Crab Puns and Crab Jokes

  1. What do you call the greatest crab artist that ever lived?

Leonardo da Pinci.

  1. What is a crab’s favorite fruit?

The crab apple, of course!

  1. What’s it called when a crab walks to its part-time job?

A side hustle.

  1. How do you know when a crab has had too much fizzy drink?

It starts to walk in a straight line.

  1. Why did the crab keep all the seaweed to itself?

Because it was shellfish!

  1. How did the limpet cross the river?

She took a taxi crab.

  1. Customer, holding a crab under his arm: “Waiter, waiter, do you make crab cakes?”

Waiter: “Yes, we sure do.” Customer: “Good, because it’s his birthday.”

  1. Why was the crustacean so unhappy?

His mom was being really crabby.

  1. Did you hear about the crab that went to the gym?

He pulled a mussel.

  1. Why did the crab blush?

It saw the ocean’s bottom.

  1. How much salt do hermit crabs like on their food?

Just a pinch!

  1. What do you call a crab in self-isolation?

A hermit crab.

  1. What does a hermit crab call its home?

Michelle.

  1. Where do crabs sleep?

On the sea bed.

  1. What did the prawn say to the crab steering the ship?

“Ay, ay, Crabtain!”

  1. What do you call a crab that throws things?

A lobster.

  1. What do you call a pit stop that sells crabs and pizza?

A crust station.

  1. Why did the crab cross the road?

To get to the other tide.

  1. Who brings Christmas presents to young crabs?

Santa Claws.

  1. What did one hipster crab playing on its shellphone say to the other?

“Help me think of an Instagram crabtion!”

  1. Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?

King’s Crustacean.

  1. How does a crab feel when it eats too much?

Clawful!

  1. Where do crabs save all of their money?

In a sand bank.

  1. What would a crab do with an iPhone?

Take lots of shellfies!

  1. How do crabs get around on land?

They use the sidewalk.

  1. What kind of protective headgear does a hermit crab wear?

A shell-met.

  1. What party game do crabs like to play?
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Salmon Says.

  1. How does a crab answer the phone?

“Shello!”

  1. What do crabs do on their birthday?

They shellabrate!

  1. Why did the musical crab move to New York City?

It wanted to star in the crabaret.

  1. What do crabs order when they go to a coffee shop?

A cup of crab-uccino.

  1. How do crabs call their friends?

On a shell phone.

  1. What do you call a crab that’s afraid of small spaces?

Claw-strophobic.

  1. Where do crabs go to borrow money?

A prawn broker.

  1. Why don’t crabs like basketball?

They’re afraid of the net!

  1. What do crabs need to stay healthy?

Vitamin Sea.

  1. What’s a crab’s favorite part about pizza?

That crust taste, son!

  1. Did you hear the crab president’s speech?

It was really crabtivating.

  1. Which chemical element accounts for the largest part in the body of crabs?

Crabon.

  1. Why do crabs do poorly in school?

They have a limited vocrabulary.

  1. What did the cannibal crab have for its birthday?

Crab cake.

  1. How did the crabs respond when the chef told them they were being served for dinner?

They were really steamed.

  1. What do you call a crab that’s green and sings but likes to stay home?

A Kermit crab.

  1. Where do crabs go when they need to catch public transport?

The Bustacean.

  1. What does the crab president call his trusted advisors?

His Crabinet.

  1. What did the crab police officer say when it pulled over a speeding shrimp?

“You have to abide by the claw.”

  1. Why did the crab decide to follow the Keto diet?

Crabohydrates made it bloat.

  1. What did one fish say to the other when they saw the chef crab a crab?

“Oh, buddy — he’s in hot water now.”

  1. What do you call a frugal crab?

A penny pincher.

  1. What’s a crab’s favorite song?

“Don’t Worry; Be Crabby.”

  1. Why did the crab get fired?

Because he was not moving the company forward.

  1. Why did the ocean roar?

Wouldn’t you if there were crabs underneath you?

Crab-Related Phrases

100 crab puns jokes 5
  1. Feel the pinch
  2. In a pinch
  3. Faster than a speeding crawfish
  4. Having a little nip
  5. Fishing for compliments
  6. Penny pincher
  7. Serious as cancer
  8. Red in tooth and claw
  9. He’s in hot water
  10. Smells fishy
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Crab Jokes

100 crab puns jokes 4
  1. What did one tide-pool say to the other tide-pool? – Show me your mussels!
  2. Why was the sand wet? – Because the sea weed!
  3. How do oysters call their friends? – On shell phones!
  4. What is the strongest creature in the sea?  – A mussel!
  5. Where do crabs go to borrow money? – The prawn broker!
  6. Why did the crab need a day off work? – (He pulled a mussel!)
  7. Who brings young crabs Christmas presents? – (Santa Claws!)
  8. How much salt do crabs like on their food? – (Just a pinch)
  9. So, this crab walks into a bar. The bartender says, “You look confused. Are you in the right place?” The crab replies, “Actually, I’m looking for a sand bar. “

Question & Answer Crab Puns

100 crab puns jokes 3
  1. What is the best job for a crab? A crab driver!
  2. Why was the hermit crab embarrassed? Because the sea weed!
  3. Where do crabs and lobsters save all of their money? In a sea bank!
  4. What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear? A shell-met!
  5. How to crabs call their friends? On a shell phone!
  6. Where do shellfish go to borrow money? To a prawn broker!
  7. Why didn’t the crab and lobster share their food with the octopus? Because they are shellfish!
  8. What is a crabs favourite fruit? Crab apples!
  9. Why was the crustacean unhappy? Because his mum was being really crabby!
  10. What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?  A Crab!
  11. How could the crab afford to buy a new house? He prawned everything!
  12. Why did the crab get bad grades? Because it was below C level!
  13. How does a crab go when it’s right? Snap!
  14. What did the wandering crab say when it finally made its way back to the ocean? Long time no sea!
  15. What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty? It-piers we have a problem!
  16. What does a lobster say when he’s confused? Can you please be more pacific?!
  17. What does the crab say when she’s disagreeing with the lobster? I don’t quite sea it that way!
  18. How does the crab answer the phone? “Shello?!”
  19. What do you call a crab who is afraid of small spaces? Claw-strophobic!
  20. How do crabs leave the hospital? On crotches!
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More Crab Puns

  1. I think you’re clawsome!
  2. Feel the pinch.
  3. Just beclaws I love you.
  4. Have a crab-u-lous day!
  5. Let’s get cracking!
  6. Let’s all clam down shell we?!
  7. The truth shell set you free!
  8. Fishing for compliments.
  9. In a pinch!
  10. Seek and you shell find!
  11. I’m just crabbing!
  12. Please crab me a glass of water!
  13. I shrimply don’t like shellfish!
  14. The lobster is one shell of an animal!

Knock Knock Jokes

  • Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Crab

Crab who?

Crab me a snack please!

  • Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Water

Water who?

Water you waiting for?! Let’s go crabbing!

  • Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Ivan

Ivan who?

Ivan awful headache after reading all these crab puns!

One Liners

100 crab puns jokes 2
  • I’d give you my best one liners here, but I’m too shellfish!
  • A good crab joke is hard to crack!
  • Don’t bother me today, I’m feeling a little bit crabby!
  • Life just seems to be two steps sideways then one step back!
  • Crabs are bad at learning a new language because they never care about the vo-crab-ulary!
  • You should never make friends with crabs because they’re all so crabby!
  • The hermit crab refused to go in its shell because it was claw-strophobic!
  • The crab is telling jokes, but nobody laughs because they are all crabby jokes!”.
  • A great bit of advice from a hermit crab: “It’s ok to come out of your shell and think outside the box!”
  • I used to look for shellfish at my local beach every day, until one day I pulled a mussel!
  • Crabs always add a pinch of salt to their meals!
  • I pulled a muscle today, I stayed clam!
  • There’s an underwater version of Paw Patrol starring crabs, it’s called Claw Patrol!