Best Duck Jokes
- At what time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
- What do ducks say when people throw things at them?
“Time to duck!”
- What is a chick’s favorite drink?
Peepsi.
- What is the baby duck’s favorite game?
Beak-a-boo.
- What do you call a rude duck?
A duck with a quackitude.
- What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
- What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case!”
- What did the lawyer say to the duck in court?
“I demand an egg-splanation!”
- Why did the duck sleep under the car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
- What do you get if you cross a duck and Santa Claus?
A Christmas quacker.
- How can you tell rubber ducks apart?
You can’t because they look egg-xactly the same!
- What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any!”
- Where do tough ducks come from?
Hard-boiled eggs.
- What do you call a cow and two ducks?
Milk and quackers.
- What do you call a cat that swallows a duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-puss.
- When is roast duck bad for your health?
When you’re the duck.
- Did you hear about the duck who thought he was a squirrel?
That was one tough nut to quack.
- If a duck says “Quack quack,” what says “Quick quick?”
A duck with hiccups.
- What do you call a clever duck?
A wise quacker.
- What did the duck say when the waitress came?
“Put it on my bill!”
- Why do ducks check the news?
For the feather forecast.
- What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
- On what side does a duck have the most feathers?
The outside.
- What did the ducks carry their schoolbooks in?
Their quack-packs.
- Why did the duck cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
- What do you call it when it’s raining ducks and chickens?
Fowl weather.
- What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s buttquack.
- Why do ducks fly south for the winter?
It’s too far to waddle.
- Why did the duck get a red card in the football game?
For fowl-play.
- Where did the duck go when he was sick?
To the ducktor.
- What do you call a duck that steals?
A robber ducky.
- Two ducks were swimming in a pond. One of them said “Quack quack.”
Then the other said, “Hey, I was about to say that!”
- Why was the teacher annoyed with the duck?
Because he wouldn’t quit quackin’ jokes.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there? Quack! Quack who? Quack open the door and you’ll see!
- Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are quacked.
- What do you call a duck that loves fireworks?
A fire-quacker.
- What do ducks have with soup?
Quackers.
- What kind of TV shows do ducks watch?
Duckumenteries.
- How do ducks talk?
They don’t; they quack.
- What type of food do you get when you cross a duck with a mole?
Quackamole.
- What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
- What’s a duck’s favorite ballet?
The Nutquacker.
- Why was the duck put into the basketball game?
To make a fowl shot!
- What did the duck say to the banker?
“My bill is bigger than yours.”
- Why do ducks say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
- Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
- What do duck physicists say?
“Quark, quark.”
- Two ducks were skipping down a sidewalk when, suddenly, one tripped and fell. It got up and said to the other duck,
“I’m sorry — I tripped on a quack!”
- What is a duck’s favorite sea monster?
The quacken.
- Why do ducks never grow up?
Because they grow down.
- What show do ducks watch on TV?
Duckumentaries.
- What do mallards eat at a baseball game?
Quacker-jacks.
- What do pre-teen ducks hate?
Voice quacks.
- Why do ducks hate reading directions?
They prefer to wing it.
- What did the duck say to the corn it ate for lunch?
You taste a-maize-ing.
- What did the flying golf ball yell to the mallards in the pond?
Duck!
- Why did the duck go to the bank?
He wanted to get a new bill.
- What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
- Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
- How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t get down off a horse — you get down off a duck.
- What language can a duck who converses with geese speak fluently?
Portu-geese.
- What do they say about French ducks?
They have a certain je ne sais quack about them.
- Chicken! Duck! Pheasant plucker!
Oh, sorry — excuse my fowl language.
- Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. What happens if you teach a man to duck?
He avoids walking into a bar.
- Why didn’t the duck have any money?
Because he already had a big bill.
- Where can you find pictures of duck feet?
They’re on the webbed.
- What is storytime called when you read to ducklings?
Ducktales.
- What’s a duck’s favorite part of the news?
The feather forecast.
- What’s a duckling’s favorite game?
Beakaboo!
- What has fangs and webbed feet?
Count Duckula!
- Why did the duck go to the chiropractor?
To get it’s back quacked.
- What time do ducks get up?
The quack of dawn.
- What do ducks use to fix things around their house?
Duck tape!
- Why did the duck get detention?
He couldn’t stop quackin’ jokes in class.
- What do ducks carry their school books in?
Quack-packs!
- Where do ducks go when they are sick?
The ducktor’s office.
- What’s a duck do when he hears a joke he likes?
He quacks up!
- What’s a duck’s favorite taco topping?
Quackamole!
- What should a duck wear to a fancy event?
A duck-sedo!
- What happens if a duck with hiccups lays eggs?
It lays scrambled eggs.
- What’s a duck’s favorite vegetable?
An eggplant!
- How do ducks make pancakes?
They use Bis-quack!
- What do ducks have with their soup?
Quackers!
- What’s a duck always order with its Chinese food?
An eggroll.
- What do you call a duck that breaks into people’s houses?
A robber ducky!
- What’s a duck’s favorite animal at the zoo?
Quackodiles.
- Most ducks live in what state?
Duckota.
- What do you call movies that ducks like to watch?
Duck-umentaries.
- What’d the duck say when he dropped his plate?
“I hope I didn’t quack it!”
- Why did the duckling almost fall on the sidewalk?
She tripped on a quack.
- What’s a duck’s favorite type of popcorn?
Quacker Jacks.
- Why do ducks like campfires?
They love seeing them quackle at night.
- What did the cow tell the duck when she heard she won the lottery?
“You lucky duck!”
- Why did the duck have to go to the auto shop?
His windscreen was quacked!
- Why do ducks lay eggs?
If they dropped them, they would break.
- What do you call a crate that’s filled with a bunch of ducks?
A box of quackers!
- Which musician do ducks listen to the most?
Drake.
- What do you call a crazy duck?
A wacky duck!
- What kind of eggs do bad ducks lay?
Deviled eggs.
- Why did the duck get a second job?
He had too many bills.
- Why did the duck end up in jail?
He was selling quack.
- What do you get if you mix ducks with fireworks?
Firequackers.
Funny Duck Puns
1. The duck slept without keeping an alarm but don’t worry, she’ll get up at the quack of the dawn.
2. Ducks love surfing the internet; they use their webbed feet.
3. In a group of back-yard duck friends, one duck was left alone because she was said to have quack-itude.
4. A duck had her feathers broken, so her family doctor used duck-tape to fix her feathers.
5. A duck went out to watch a movie, starring her favorite actress Duck-ota Johnson.
6. The Judge of the Duck Court asked the lawyers and the attendants to give her an egg-splanation.
7. If a duck and an elf were crossed, you would be getting a Christmas quacker.
8. The duck usually says, “Quack Quack,” but the duck was having hiccups, so she was saying “Quick-Quick” instead!
9. The duck dropped some dishes and apologized, saying, ” I’m so sorry, I hope I didn’t quack any. “
10. A cow and two ducks were really good friends, they were known as Milk and Quackers.
11. Papa duck decided to take his family for a family holiday in North Duck-ota.
12. A detective duck was really suspicious about a case, so she said, “Let’s quack this case. “
13. The interviewer asked everyone whether they had heard about the duck who thought she was a squirrel; they replied, “Argh! That was a tough one to quack.”
14. Some ducklings were playing hide and seek when the baby duck said, “beak-a-boo.”
15. All the rubber ducks were named, but it was very difficult to distinguish them in spite of their names because they are looked egg-xactly the same.
16. A group of ducks planned to go out, so they were watching the news to get the feather forecast.
17. The poultry farm owner said, “My ducks are very sincere; they are really ho-nest.”
18. Two little ducks didn’t like their backpacks, so they were told to carry their school books in their quack packs instead!
19. The duck was declared out by the umpire in a baseball match because she did a fowl play.
20. The Buddhist duck visited the mo-nest-ry every day.
21. The poultry owner took their ducks to the duck-tor as they were sick.
22. The lovely duck couple went to watch a movie, they watched ‘A-nest-hesia.’
23. A duck was scolded by the teacher as she was continuously quacking jokes in the class.
24. Ducks fly to the south because it’s difficult to waddle so far.
25. Donald Duck became an undercover operator and became a duck-tective.
26. The poultry farm owner made his duck a famous singer and the duck promises to keep on singing until his Bill Withers.
27. A set of six rubber ducks were packed in the box, and so they were called a box of quackers.
28. My ducks are really good at saving because they have their bills under control.
29. The duck’s favorite dance movie is ‘La La Land’, he said, “It’s poultry in motion.”
30. The rubber duck was shocked when she saw another rubber duck walking out of a beautician’s clinic and exclaimed, “I don’t believe you got plastic surgery done. “
31. The duck who lived on the 20th floor of the building wanted a pair of binoculars to get a bird’s eye view.
32. If a duck was crossed with a crocodile, it would make a quack-odile.
33. We fed a group of ducks in the backyard the other day, and it was really bread-taking.
34. The duck-tective interrogated the victim ducks today, and they eventually quacked under pressure.
Best Drake Puns And Mallard Puns
35. The male duck wanted to become a rapper, so he made all his friends call him Drake!
36. The body conscious duck asked if she had gained some weight and her friend said, “You are as light as a feather.”
37. The drakes were in need of medication as they had an aci-duck stomach.
38. The group of ducks watched a movie together, it was called ‘Beak A Leg.’
39. The duck mechanic offered to fix the computer as he is quite good at duck-nology and understands the web.
40. The duck model was shooting a make-up tutorial, she was showing viewers how to wing it.
41. At a high profile civil suit, the duck lawyer in charge of defence said, ” Ma-llard these ducks are not at fault. “
42. Some drakes were really pro-duck-tive, so a film crew decided to make duck-umentry on them.
43. The celebrity duck refused to answer the interviewer’s questions. I guess she just ducked the question.
44. A group of ducks were going to a rock band concert, the band name was ‘Wing-er.’
45. Ducks are always trending on social media, they have a large fan follo-wing.
46. All the drakes, mallards and ducks asked the waiter to get them quack-a-mole topping added to their nachos.
Puns Inspired By Cute Duck Quotes
47. Ducks are such creatures. Waddle I do without them?
48. I pity the ducks who were pricked by the quack-tus and had to go to the duck-tor.
49. The robber ducky stole the soap, so she was arrested in a fowl case.
50. Ducks love coffee; they love bre-wing it.
51. Daddy duck was watching a film called ‘Lord Of The Wings’.
52. The mallards consulted the duck-tionary as they couldn’t get quacks.
53. It’s always the duck-est just before dawn.
54. I saw a baby duckling in the duck house, I guess she was nest-ling.
Hilarious Duck Puns Inspired By Fictional Characters
55. If a flower was crossed with a duck, we would get Daisy Duck.
56. A duck who is never tired of quacking and always wants to quack is called Quack-more Duck.
57. If a duck pilot went to McDonald’s, he would introduce himself as Launchpad McQuack.
58. Donald Duck was egg-cited for the hide and seek game as he’s a wise quacker in being sneaky.