Puns Using The Word Train
- It turns out that the truth was hidden in train sight.
- There are locomotive olympics for which you have to train really hard.
- A train can only think about one thing at a time, it has a one track mind.
- An express train is just a press train that has lost its job.
- When a train is tired, it is called a slowcomotive.
- You know what they say, a train is only as strong as its weakest link!
- When our journey was cancelled, all our plans went down the train.
- The driver has never missed a single day of work, he’s always there, come train or shine.
Railway Puns

- Driving trains is harder than it steams!
- In case of emergency, you just have to keep calm and carriage on.
- Let’s go for a train ride, it’s a freight day for it!
- Another train ride? You’re just asking for travel!
- The best time to buy trains is at the end of line sale.
- If you’re a hunter, you’ve got to make sure you’re not following train tracks!
Train Driver Puns

- Train drivers are really scary when they get angry; you’ve got to be careful not to yank their train.
- The train driver loves attention – he loves knowing he’s the train event at the party.
- When he’s stressed, the train driver always bites his rails.
- The train driver is a cunning man, he’s always got a track up his sleeve.
- The train driver’s day starts early: he gets up at the track of dawn.
- The driver is a resilient guy; he always gets track on his feet.
- To drive trains, you have to know every track in the book.
- Being a train driver is a difficult job: you have to keep track of every detail.
- Train drivers are great criminals, they know how to cover their tracks.
- Everyone is in love with the train driver, he is very at-track-tive.
- No one drinks faster than a train driver: he keeps chugging!
- Even a train driver needs a brake once in a while, to let off some steam.
- The train driver has too much work; he bit off more than he can chew chew.
- Locomotive drivers love sudokus and crosswords, they’re great train teasers.
- The locomotive driver can never get into trouble: he has a get out of rail free card.
- You’ll never catch a train driver apologising: sorry steams to be the hardest word.
- The locomotive driver is a great person to work with; he’s always happy to take one for the steam.
- The train driver got promoted: it really was a tram-endous opportunity.
- The train driver got married to his partner: they are united in holy matramony.
- Of course the train driver believes in love at first sight: it’s freight!
- The train driver’s mailbox is always full: he gets lots of freight mail.
- Be careful with train drivers, they can go off the rails at anytime!
- Train drivers are known for their engine-uity!
- You won’t find anyone more focused than a train driver: they have tunnel vision.
- If you make the train driver angry, he’ll tell you to car-go away!
- I wanted to ask the train driver a question, but in the end I was too afreight to ask.
- It’s hard to keep a freight face when the train driver tells funny puns.
More Train Puns

- How do locomotives hear? Through their engineers.
- It’s hard to find anyone with more focus than a conductor. They have complete tunnel vision.
- How does a train avoid detection? It covers its tracks.
- I once asked a conductor how many times a train he was on had gotten derailed. He told me it was hard to keep track.
- Why do trains take so long to arrive on Halloween? They’re running with a skeleton service.
- It’s a freight day to go for a ride on a train.
- If you spend too much time walking on railroad tracks it might leave you feeling run down.
- The conductor has never missed a day of work in over 20 years on the job. He was there come train or shine.
- You can always tell when a train driver is stressed because they bite their rails.
- The conductor was right in the middle of her presentation when she lost her train of thought. Embarrassed, she quickly disembarked from the room.
- Did you know that train conductors make great thieves? They’re really good at covering their tracks.
- I was able to pick up a few railway buffers for cheap the other day. I took advantage of an end-of-the-line sale.
- It’s always great working with a train conductor. They’re always ready to take one for the steam.
- What does a monster see when it sees a train full of passengers? A chew chew train.
- Conductors can be quite intimidating when you get them angry. Make sure you don’t yank their train!
- Everyone seems to have a crush on the train conductor. They’re quite at-track-tive.
- There’s a guy I know who has been a big fan of monorails since he was little. I guess he’s just really into one-liners.
- Even the toughest train engineer needs a brake to let off some steam.
- A railroad conductor needs to make sure he doesn’t go down the wrong track and lose his train of thought.
- No matter what, the train I regularly take home is always late. It’s a slowcomotive.
- Train conductors are clever and known for their engine-uity.
- The train conductor was feeling silly and decided to wear platform shoes to work.
- I’ve always been a big fan of a funny one-liner. I guess that’s why I like monorails so much!
- Being a conductor is more difficult than it looks. Every detail needs to be kept track of.
- The conductor kept telling me funny train puns, and it was hard to keep a freight face.
- Teachers and railroad security are more similar than you might think. One of them trains the mind, while the other one minds the trains.
- I finally figured out why you always try to drive me crazy. You have a locomotive.
- Why did the ghost get fired from his job at the railroad? He couldn’t coordinate the skeleton service.
- The train conductor worked hard and got offered a promotion. It was a tram-endous opportunity.
- The conductor was overloaded with work, but he just kept chugging along.
- We ended up canceling our trip because all of our plans went down the train.
- Always keep an eye on train puns, they can go off the rails without warning.
- Train conductors are known for their drinking. They can just keep chugging.
- Wow, you really have to hand it to ticket inspectors. (That’s it. That’s the joke.)
- Railroad workers need to be sure they always keep their train of thought, or else they might go down the wrong track and get someone hurt.
- I wanted to put together this list of funny train puns a while ago, but I just kept getting sidetracked.

- What do you call a sick locomotive? A train with a coal-d.
- How do you make the locomotive Olympics? Train really hard.
- The cops were investigating the recent theft of a train. They suspected the culprit had a locomotive.
- Being a train conductor requires you to get up early in the morning. Right at the track of dawn.
- Driving trains is a lot more difficult than it steams.
- The train company had safety issues for years but was always able to cover its tracks.
- When things look bad you just have to keep calm and carriage on.
- The conductor’s mailbox is always stuffed with letters. He receives plenty of freight mail.
- What did the mother steam engine say to her baby to get her to eat? “Here comes the choo choo train!”
- How do you find a missing train? Hire a detective to follow the tracks.
- What do you call a locomotive that keeps sneezing? Achoo choo train.
- Railroad workers aren’t what they used to be. In the good old days, all the conductors were a little loco and full of self e-steam.
- I had a friend who quit his gig as a newspaper reporter and took a train out of town. The ex-press train.
- Why can’t train engineers get electrocuted? They’re not the conductor.
- No matter where you are, you’ll never see happy railroad tracks. Too many people have crossed them.
- What’s one easy way to tell if a train just passed? It leaves tracks.
- No one would ever find out how hard he trained because he never got a platform to share it.
- A locomotive conductor can only think of one thing at a time. They all have one-track minds.
- I went to a throwback party at the train station. Everyone had on platforms.
- Did you hear about the man who took the 6 o’clock train home? The police made him give it back.
- I swear train conductors never get in trouble. They always seem to have a get out of rail free card.
- I always like chewing gum on the train. Unlike teachers, locomotives always tell you to choo choo.
- I was going to ask the conductor a question when he walked by, but I was too afreight to ask.
- The troll that lives under my local railway bridge really is my arch enemy.
- I like to share a train pun or one-liner. I’ve always been driven by the joy of monorails.
- I tried to get a job as a railway conductor, but they didn’t think I had enough training.
- When the train engineer decided he wanted to run for office, he put the development of brailways for the blind as his main priority.
- The conductor was right in the middle of his presentation when he lost his train of thought. Embarrassed, he quickly disembarked the room.
- No one would ever find out how hard he trained, because he never got a platform to share it.
- The train company had safety issues for years but were always able to cover their tracks.
- Train drivers are quite clever and known for their engine-uity.
- What sort of car does a crazy person drive? A locomotive.
- The train driver was overloaded with work, but he just kept chugging along.
- Always keep an eye on train puns, they can go off the rails without warning!
- Wow, you really have to hand it to ticket inspectors…
- I wanted to put together this list of funny train puns a while ago, but I just kept getting side tracked.
- My buddy made the grand final of the national model train competition. Unfortunately, he lost on points.
- What’s another name for a freight train that’s transporting gum? A chew-chew train.
- It was exhausting to listen to the conductor’s argument because she had a one-track mind. It was enough to drive you loco.
- Driving trains is a lot more difficult than it steams!
- The train conductor was a very sneaky woman, she always had a track or two up her sleeve.