140+ Dragon Puns & Jokes

Best Dragon Puns

  1. Yesterday, I was telling a bedtime fantastical story to my little son. The story kept dragon-on and on and on!
  2. If you ever give presents to a dragon it usually responds by saying, “Fangs a lot”.
  3. The only reason the dinosaurs lived longer than dragons was due to the fact that they never smoked!
  4. Dragons prefer a particular variety of shampoo. They always prefer Head and Smolders!
  5. The female dragon always won the beauty contest whenever she took part in it. It was obvious as she was the beast of the show!
  6. The only school that thought about how to kill dragons is the knight school!
  7. A dragon is frequently seen spitting fire on a map as he plans on setting fire to the whole world!
  8. My friend who is an architect bought a large number of model dragons and took them for work.  It was not until his seniors told him that he realized that one such model dragon was not to scale!
  9. When the little dragon was asking for a candy and not getting it, his elder brother asked him, “Wyv-ern?”
  10. I have often been named as a dragon by my colleagues. They say that I have been dragging my body from home to the office day in and day out!
  11. A dragon’s favorite day of the week is Chewsday!
  12. Dragons are extremely good guitarists because they really know all the scales!
  13. Dragons should never get angry while playing ice hockey. Because if they breathe fire then the ice melts!
  14. A dragon that is exceptional in juggling can be called talon-ted!
  15. Dragons don’t usually take time in making vacation plans. They just simply wing it!
  16. There was a group of dragons who dreamed of having a music band. They even thought of naming themselves ‘Imagine Dragons’.
  17. The dragon decided to visit the restaurant to eat his favorite dish. It was a whole bucket of Hot Wings!
  18. In D&D, a dragon does not want to eat paladins because they always taste lawful!
  19. The best way to lift a little dragon is by using a fork-lift!
  20. Dragons are very bad bosses. Whenever they become angry, they start firing employees!
  21. Dragons love music and their favorite rock band is ‘The Flaming Lips’.
  22. Ender dragons find it extremely difficult to read any book or novel. Because they always finish at the start!
  23. The dragon got extremely upset when a particular song got stuck in his ear. It was such an earwyrm!
  24. The dragon became a hugely successful rapper. Because he always spits fire!
  25. The dragon got hit by a truck and was taken to the hospital where he was discharged, after a couple of bandages were put on him. He is now a wrapped-tile!
  26. Dragons particularly like eating cakes and pastries. Their favorite kind of cake is a lair cake!
  27. A dragon’s favorite European food dish is Swiss charred meat!
  28. Dragons are exceptional story-tellers as they have long tails!
  29. Dwarves always hunt dragons in the early morning as they know that the early beard catches the wyrm!
  30. Dragons are excellent investment bankers as they can very easily swing the scales in their favor.

Funny Dragon Jokes

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  1. How long should one be patient for a green dragon? You should be waiting until it ripens!
  2. Why did the stylish dragon walk the fashion ramp wearing traditional Japanese clothes? Because he was a Kimono Dragon!
  3. How do you measure the weight of a dragon? It actually depends a lot on the scales!
  4. What do you call a dragon who came back home after a really exhausting day at the office and fell asleep? You can now call him a dragoff!
  5. What biscuits do dragons like with their tea? Firecrackers!  
  6. Why was the little dragon angry on his birthday? He kept trying yet he could not blow out his birthday candles!
  7. Why did the restaurant chef feed the dragon lots of hot tamales? Because he wanted to have a barbeque!
  8. Why are dragons excellent accountants? Because they are well aware of the economies of scale!
  9. How is Hanukkah different from a dragon? The former is of eight nights while the latter eats knights!
  10. What did the little dragon say before leaving his house for Halloween?  I’m all fired up for tricks and treats!
  11. Which species of animal wears slippers, is gigantic, and has scales? A cinderdragon!
  12. What do you call a dragon who loves to perform classical dances? A Balerion!
  13. What is the difference between a dragon and a dinosaur? A dragon will never explode but a dino might!
  14. Which sport do dragons play at the end, if they start a game of ice hockey? Water Polo.
  15. What is the best way to stop a bad dragon joke? You don’t let it drag-on for a long time.
  16. What did the father dragon tell his son dragon when he saw a knight charging towards him? For today’s dinner, we will have tinned food!
  17. Why are dragons generally known to practice Sabbath? Because they only prey on weak knights!
  18. What do you call a dragon who frequents pubs and bars and prefers staying intoxicated at all times? A beer-ded dragon!
  19. What did the trainer say when the boxer asked if he can use the forbidden spinning dragon uppercut punch in the middle of the fight? The trainer replied “shor-yu-ken”.
  20. How does a dragon travel if it has no wings? It keeps on draggin from one place to another!
  21. What did the mother dragon say when she saw her child dragon eating an ice cream? She said that it melts her heart.
  22. What do you call a dragon which is devoid of any silver? A dron!
  23. How does a dragon cross the space-time barrier and reach from one place to another? It uses a wyrmhole!
  24. What’s worse than a dragon speaking to you? The amount of money you have to spend on therapy after that.
  25. For which event do the dragons train for dancing? The talon show.
  26. Why do dragons love hoarding silver, jewels, and gold? Because cash is extremely flammable!
  27. Which genre of folklore and stories are dragons famous for? The long tales.
  28. Which is the favorite literary novel of dragons? ‘The White Fang.’
  29. Why is the good dragon always invited to barbeque parties? Because he fires up the grill very easily!
  30. What did one dragon say to his friend when the latter complained that it was a hot night? Keep your mouth shut!
  31. What did the dragon breathe fire inside the house? To light-up the house when the power went out.
  32. Which parenting book does expecting dragon moms read? How To Train Your Dragon!
  33. Which fruit did the dragon grow in his gigantic orchard? Dragon fruit!
  34. What is the distinct difference between a car and a dragon? A dragon has two horns while a car has one!
  35. What is the reason behind children being afraid of dragons? They are really scaly!
  36. Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England.
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I guess you could say he sleighed it.

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  1. How much does a dragon weigh? It depends on the scales.
  2. Two dragons were sitting in a bar.

Dragon 1: It’s hot in here.

Dragon 2: Shut your mouth.

  1. What do you call a dragon in a silk gown? A kimono dragon.
  2. What do you call two ice dragons? Twice dragons.
  3. A hero comes to a village one day.

The villagers all look very upset, so the hero asks them why.

“There is a huge dragon living in the mountain. Every week, it comes down and eats one of our virgin girls,” the villagers reply.

The hero then promises to help.

Two weeks later, the dragon starved to death.

  1. How do you get dragon milk? From a cow with short legs.
  2. Why are model dragons always disappointing? They are never to scale.
  3. What do you call the cow that slayed a dragon? Legendairy.
  4. How can you tell a boy dragon from a girl dragon? Fireballs.
  5. Why do dragons never do any planning? They like to wing it.
  6. What do you call a dragon with no wings? Draggin.
  7. My dragon is asleep.

He’s now dragoff.

  1. What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.
  2. What do dragons like with their soup? Firecrackers.
  3. How does Smaug move files from one folder to another? Dragon drop.
  4. Why are dragons the worst story tellers? Because they dragon.
  5. What does a dragon have before bedtime? A knight cap.
  6. You think musical wizards are weird? Imagine dragons.
  7. I’d hate to be a dragon.

I’d get so angry trying to blow out my birthday candles.

  1. Never get into a conversation with a flying reptile.
  2. Their conversations always dragon for way too long.
  3. What’s worse than an insult from a leprechaun? A burn from a dragon.
  4. Why didn’t the dragon observe the Sabbath? He only preys on weak knights.
  5. What do you call a Chinese dragon’s beard?Low mane.
  6. What’s the difference between a knight and Santa’s reindeer? One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.
  7. What do you call a dragon librarian? A book wyrm.
  8. What is a dragon’s favorite band? The Flaming Lips.
  9. What did the dragon say to the bad employee? You’re fired.
  10. What’s the difference between Game of Thrones and United Airlines? One has dragons and the other has drag-offs.
  11. A man throws a dollar coin into a wishing well and a genie pops out.
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The genie tells him, “You have thrown the largest money value into this well since it has been built. You may have one wish.”

“I want a dragon.”

“Are you sure? That’s… pretty big, and would probably give me away. Anything else?”

“I want to learn how to fold a fitted sheet.”

“What color dragon do you want?”

  1. Why did the dragon cross the road? He wanted to eat some chicken.
  2. What’s a tired dragon’s favorite steak? Flaming yawn.
  3. A knight is fighting a dragon.

He cuts its head, but the dragon grows two new heads.

The knight cuts them, but the dragon grows 4 heads.

The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 8 heads.

The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 16 heads.

The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 32 heads.

The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 64 heads.

The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 128 heads.

The knight cuts them and the dragon is finally dead.

It was an 8-bit dragon.

  1. A poor vagabond, travelling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: “George and the Dragon.”

He knocked.

The innkeeper’s wife stuck her head out a window.

“Could ye spare some food?” he asked.

The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition.

“No!” she said rather sternly.

“Could I have a pint of ale?” “No!” she snapped again.

“Could I at least sleep in your stable?” “No!”

By this time, she was fairly shouting.

The vagabond tried again: “Might I please…?”

“What now?” the woman interrupted impatiently.

“Do you suppose I might have a word with George instead?”

  1. What do you call a dragon with no silver? A dron.
  2. A dragon would never explode…
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But a dino might.

  1. Why are dragons so good at rapping? Because they’re always spitting fire.
  2. Why are dragons such good storytellers? They all have tails.
  3. A leprechaun, a walking tree, and a dragon walk into a bar. I should quit drinking.

Knock Knock Jokes About Dragons

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  • Knock, knock!

Who is it?

Holly.

Holly who?

Holly peños alongside flamin’ dragons never went well together.
 

  • Knock, knock!

Who is out there?

Dragon!

Dragon who?

Dragon your toes again?
 

  • Knock, knock!

Who is out there?

Fire!

Fire who?

If it was me, I would keep a safe distance from fire-blasting dragons.
 

  • Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Dragon.

Dragon who?

Dragon today, and I could really use a nap.

Dragon Jokes

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  1. Q: What do you call when two dragons can’t mate?
    A: A reptile dysfunction.
  2. Q: Where do lizards go when their tails come off?
    A: The retail store.
  3. Q: How do dragons judge an egg?
    A: They use scales.
  4. Q: What do you call a dragon with headphones?
    A: Anything, it can’t hear you.
  5. Q: What biscuits do dragons like with their tea?
    A: Firecrackers!
  6. Q: What is the reason behind children being afraid of dragons?
    A: They are really scaly.
  7. Q: What is a dragon’s favorite food?
    A: Swiss Charred.
  8. Q: What do you call Dragon with no silver?
    A: A dron.
  9. Q: How do you kill the ender dragon
    A: You ender.
  10. Q: What are a lizard’s favorite band?
    A: Imagine Dragons.
  11. Q: Which fruit did the dragon grow in his gigantic orchard?
    A: Dragon fruit.
  12. Q: Why are dragons so amazing at making music?
    A: They really know their scales.
  13. Q: What will eat more than a dragon?
    A: Two dragons.
  14. Q: What happens if you kiss a dragon?
    A: You get burnt lips.
  15. Q: What time is it when a dragon decides to sit on your car?
    A: Time to get a new car.
  16. Q: Which side of a dragon has the most scales?
    A: The outside.
  17. Q: What sound do you hear when dragons eat spicy salsa?
    A: A fire alarm.
  18. Q: What’s big, scaly and bounces?
    A: A dragon on a trampoline.
  19. Q: How do you weigh a dragon?
    A: On a scale.
  20. Q: What do you call a sleeping dragon?
    A: Drag-off.
  21. Q: What do you call a Japanese reptile?
    A: A kimono dragon.
  22. Q: What is the difference between a dragon and a dinosaur?
    A: A dragon will never explode but a dino might!
  23. Q: What is the best way to stop a bad dragon joke?
    A: You don’t let it drag-on for a long time.
  24. Q: How does a dragon travel if it has no wings?
    A: It keeps on draggin from one place to another!
  25. Q: What did the parent dragon say to its lazy kid?
    A: Stop draggin’ your feet.
  26. Q: Which event do the dragons like to enter?
    A: The talon show.
  27. Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?
    A: So they can fight knights!