170+ Foot Puns & Jokes

Foot Puns & Jokes

  1. What did the foot say when it met its father’s brother for the first time? Pleased to meet you, ankle!
  2. What’s a foot’s favorite food? Shoe-shi!
  3. What does a foot have for breakfast? Jam and toe-st!
  4. What’s a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe!
  5. What is the foot’s favorite type of chips? Dori-toes!
  6. What does a thief wear on its feet? Sneakers!
  7. Which two Ancient Greek philosophers had the nicest feet? Pla-toe and Sock-rates!
  8. What is a foot’s favourite candy? Men-toes.
  9. What did the foot say to the football when they won the match? I toed you so!
  10. What happens if you put your left shoe on the wrong foot? Well, it’s actually on the right foot!
  11. What is the most dangerous mountain in the world for your feet? Krakatoa!
  12. A junior doctor is examining a patient when he notices a black inscription on his foot. He leans in to have a look and reads “Remember to take the temperature.” He does, and is able to diagnose his patient. The junior doctor reports his actions to his supervisor, who says “I’m glad you remembered to read the footnotes.”
  13. Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
  14. Why can’t your two feet get along? Because they can’t both be right!
  15. What has four legs but no feet? A table!
  16. What does someone with two left feet wear as shoes? Flip-flips!
  17. What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper!
  18. What kind of shoes do lazy people wear? Loafers!
  19. What are a plumber’s favorite type of shoes? Tap shoes!
  20. Does your shoe have a hole in it? The answer from your audience will hopefully be no, to which you can reply “Well how did you put your foot in it then?”
  21. Why couldn’t the Colorado mountain hikers cross the footbridge? Because it had fallen arches!
  22. What lies on the floor 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede.
  23. What do you call a man with a plastic foot? Robert-oe!
  24. How does an astronomer cut his toenails? Eclipse them!
  25. Did I tell you about that time I fell in love whilst doing a backflip? I was completely heels over head!
  26. Why does a circus clown wear loud socks? So his feet don’t fall asleep.
  27. How is 3+3=7 the same as your left foot? It’s not right!
  28. How hard was it for the shoe maker to manufacture clown shoes? It was no small feet!
  29. What does a foot do to remember a special moment? He takes a pho-toe!
  30. What material was the first ever shoe made out of? Wooden shoe like to know!
  31. What do you call it when you put two slices of bread around your foot? A below-knee sandwich.
  32. What is a foot’s least favourite vegetable? Bunions!

Feet Puns

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  1. I accidentally cut off most of my foot, but thankfully it’s almost all heeled.
  2. I know someone who made a living from making wax replicas of celebrities’ legs, but the other day he got arrested for counter-feet.  
  3. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop, it was really sole destroying.
  4. I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help me, but I stand corrected.
  5. I tried picking up the TV remote with my foot the other day, I guess my laziness really is getting out of hand.
  6. I took a video of my new pair of shoes yesterday. I have just watched it back, and it really made for some excellent footage.
  7. My doctor said he’d have me back on my feet in two weeks, and it’s a good thing he did too because I had to sell my car to foot the bill!
  8. I’m afraid I have to return my new shoes because they have terrible frequency. I put them on once and now my feet really hertz.
  9. I was going to propose to my partner on the top of the ski hill, but I didn’t in the end because I got cold feet.
  10. I used to really hate my foot fungus, but now it’s actually starting to grow on me.
  11. People are always telling me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to really put my foot down.
  12. A hopster is just a hipster who dropped something heavy on his foot.
  13. On the 31 December at midnight, always make sure you lift your left foot up, that way you can start the new year on the right foot.
  14. Foot injuries are always really serious because they take so long to heel.
  15. The gingerbread man goes to the doctor and tells him he really hurt his foot. The doctor says “Have you tried icing it?”
  16. I hate action figures with no feet, I really just can’t stand them.
  17. Always stay off lawns which have recently been fertilized, because you don’t want to let grass grow under your feet.
  18. And now people, it’s time to foot your best foot forward!
  19. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you will be a mile away, and you will have their shoes!
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The Best Toe Puns

170 foot puns jokes 4
  1. I was driving behind an ambulance one day when a cooler fell off the back of it. I stopped, picked it up and opened it and found a foot inside. Naturally, I called a toe-truck.
  2. My baby dropped some of her food on her foot, I guess she really wanted to try the avocado toes that everyone goes on about.
  3. I met the perfect partner, but sadly they had no feet so I had to break up with them: you see, I am lack toes intolerant.
  4. I’ve spent years developing the first ever foot-manipulated keyboard, now here is my first pro-toe-type.
  5. I’m waiting for news from my doctor to see if I have athlete’s foot; I’ve been waiting so long, I’m constantly on my toes.
  6. I dropped a dictionary on my foot the other day, and I woke up the next morning with a thesaurus toe.
  7. If athletes get athlete’s foot, then surely soldiers get missile toe.  
  8. I was trying shoes on but one pair was a size too small, so my feet got toe-tally stuck!
  9. I love your shoes, they are toe-riffic!
  10. What do cheetahs have on their feet? Chee-toes!
  11. What is the condition called when all of your toes go to sleep? Coma-toes!
  12. What do you call the condition when your toes smell really badly? Hali-toe-sis!
  13. Why did the opera singer only sing songs about feet? She was an all-toe singer!
  14. What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis!
  15. I was drawing a picture of a foot, and it looks exactly like a real one, I toe-tally nailed it!
  16. What do you call a man who got stung on his foot? Toe-bee!

Broken Foot Puns

170 foot puns jokes 3
  1. What do you call a frog with a broken foot? Un-hoppy!
  2. Where does the dog go when it has a broken foot? The paw-diatrist!
  3. I broke my foot and went in for a routine surgery, but I left the hospital with two fewer limbs: it cost an arm and a leg!
  4. I was at home with my parents while I recovered from a broken foot. One day, after six months, my dad came home and told me it was time to leave. He wanted me to stand on my own two feet, but I told him I needed time to heel!

Big Foot Jokes

  1. How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests? He just follows the big footpath!
  2. How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing? He always finds the biggest footholds.

Podiatrist Puns

  1. What is a podiatrist’s favourite Olympic event? Arch-ery!
  2. What is a podiatrist’s favourite dessert? Tirami-shoe!
  3. I dated my podiatrist for a little while, but it didn’t work out and we broke up. I guess we weren’t sole mates after all!
  4. What does one podiatrist say to the other at a convention? Nice toe meet you!
  5. What is the difference between a chef and a podiatrist? One feels the heat while the other heals the feet!
  6. I called my podiatrist’s practice to get an appointment, but they only do limp-ins!
  7. The podiatrist is really mean with his money, when he is out for dinner with friends he never wants to foot the bill.
  8. Why do podiatrists never have any friends? Because when they meet someone, they always get off on the wrong foot.
  9. Why can’t the podiatrist convert numbers into metric? He can only work in feet!
  10. My dad was a podiatrist, and so am I. I guess I followed in his footsteps!
  11. My podiatrist is eager to change his career, I think she is getting itchy feet.
  12. The sole reason I fell in love with my husband is because he is a podiatrist.
  13. Why did the two podiatrists hate each other? Because they were arch enemies!
  14. Being a podiatrist is a very challenging career, you always need to be thinking on your feet.
  15. My podiatrist always tells me the truth straight up, he never does any toe-ing around.
  16. It’s really easy to learn podiatry, you just have to make sure you read all the footnotes in the manual.
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Smelly Feet Puns

  1. Did you ever hear the joke about the gym socks? You don’t want to, it stinks.
  2. How does Mary Poppins cure smelly feet? She tells you to step in thyme!
  3. Who do giraffes have long necks? Because they have smelly feet!

Animal Feet Puns

  1. It’s really easy to surprise a duck, they’re often caught flat footed.
  2. Why do ducks have small feet? To stomp out small fires. And why do elephants have big feet? To stomp out burning ducks!
  3. Did you know alligators can grow up to 22 feet? Most of the time, they just grow four though.
  4. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
  5. Always keep fish away from your feet, they are known to be ankle biters.
  6. What does a frog wear on its feet? Open toad shoes.
  7. What shoes do you put on your pet’s feet? Dog martins!
  8. Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in a cherry tree!
  9. What do you call a penguin who can’t dance? Unhappy feet!
  10. Why do polar bears never get married? Because they always get cold feet.
  11. What did the dog say to his podiatrist when he received his diagnosis? Nothing, there was an uncomfortable paws!

Runner Puns

  1. If you want to run a race but you wear the wrong shoes, you will suffer the agony of de-feet.
  2. That runner is seriously impressive, he just accomplished a great feet.
  3. The runner was getting a little anxious about swimming his first laps, he was just getting his feet wet.
  4. I am getting more confident with my running, I’ve really found my feet.
  5. Why was the runner afraid to leave his home? He was not sure if he could stand on his own two feet!
  6. I fell in love with a runner; I knew he was the one for me from the moment he swept me off my feet.
  7. Why do runners constantly have itchy feet? They are prone to having athlete’s foot!
  8. What is a foot’s favorite breakfast food? Toe-st.
  9. Burglars don’t really wear shoes; because they have to be quiet, they go for sneakers.
  10. It can be hard to referee an argument between your feet. No matter how hard they try, they can’t both be right.
  11. What creature lies on the floor, one hundred feet in the air? The answer is a dead centipede.
  12. Why is 2 plus 2 = 10 the same thing as a left foot? Because it’s not right.
  13. How do feet capture their most special memories? They take a pho-toe.
  14. I didn’t think I’d like my orthopedic new shoes, but now I stand corrected.
  15. I wanted to propose romantically to my partner, barefooted in the snow. I didn’t do it in the end; I got cold feet.
  16. It is important to stand on your left foot at midnight on New Year’s Eve. This means that you start the new year on the right foot.
  17. Have you heard the phrase “don’t criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes”? This is good advice, because now you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.
  18. What happens if your feet break down on a long journey? You simply call a toe truck.
  19. You know that feeling when you have been sitting on your feet and they go to sleep? This is known as coma-toes.
  20. I am an artist, and I have been struggling to draw a really good picture of feet. Well, the other day I toe-tally nailed it.
  21. What do dogs do when they hurt their feet? They visit a paw-diatrist.
  22. I got into a relationship with my podiatrist, but we broke up after a while. Turns out we weren’t sole mates.
  23. Alligators can grow up to 22 feet. Usually they just grow four though.
  24. Marathon runners can truly accomplish a great feet.
  25. I fell in love with a long distance runner. He swept me right off my feet.
  26. Dogs are actually really cool. They don’t wear normal shoes; they always go for Dog Martens.
  27. Are you struggling with a tricky problem? Just foot on your thinking cap and you should be able to sort it.
  28. A friend is annoying you with their constant foot puns? Tell them to put a sock in it.
  29. I wanted to visit the tropics, but I’m just not sure how I heel about the feet.
  30. I went out for dinner with a couple of my podiatrist friends. Unfortunately I had to foot the bill.
  31. My new shoes are toe-tally awesome!
  32. I was in the cinema watching a re-run of Bigfoot. It was a great feet-ure.
  33. I’ve really (toe)nailed these puns.
  34. I thought I loved you before, but then you bought me new shoes. Now I know we’re sole mates.
  35. I’ve been learning how to run better. Turns out I just needed a trainer.
  36. I was having a contest with someone I thought was a friend.. They cheated again, so now we’re arch enemies.
  37. I was researching my family tree and I have found that I have an aunt and an ankle I never knew about.
  38. Unfortunately, all my friends know that punning is my Achilles heel.
  39. I tendon to repeat myself if I pun too many times.
  40. I’m heeling good about this next one.
  41. So, I went to sleep on my shoes last night. I dreamed I ate the right shoe. When I woke up, there was only one left and I was speaking in tongues.
  42. I opened a shop for plumbers to buy their shoes. Turns out the only thing that will sell is clogs.
  43. Galosh, it’s hard to think of foot puns.
  44. I tried to make a gun that launched footwear, but it wouldn’t shoe-t.
  45. I hear that people with a foot fetish have a highly active socks life.
  46. Puns about feet? What a load of cobblers.
  47. I was cooking for a couple of friends who work in the shoe factory down the road. I didn’t have much in but I cobbled something together.
  48. All the cobblers in town were arrested today. I think something’s afoot.
  49. My feet are leg-end-ary.
  50. The problem with puns about feet is that they’re all so totally corny.
  51. There’s a disused shoe factory down the road from me. The builders have just demolished it. It was for the best really; the place had no sole.
  52. My partner usually deals with the kids’ shoes. They were made redundant this year, so now I’m the sole earner.
  53. The old cobbler’s shop has just reopened and is now a nightspot. They play jazz and motown – real sole music.
  54. Did you hear about the shoemaker who killed his wife? Apparently he’d been lacing her tea for weeks.
  55. I think I’m allergic to my local Clarks. Every time I walk in there I start a-shoeing.
  56. What sort of crisps do feet like the most? Dori-toes, of course!
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Wiggly Foot Jokes And Puns

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  1. What was the foot’s favorite type of chips? Dori-toes.
  2. What’s a foot’s favorite food? Shoe-shi.
  3. Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  4. I used to really hate my foot fungus, but now it’s actually starting to grow on me.
  5. I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help me, but I stand corrected.
  6. What did the foot say to the soccer ball when they won the match? I toed you so.
  7. How hard was it for the shoemaker to manufacture clown shoes? It was no small feet.
  8. What do you call a shoe made out of bananas? A slipper.
  9. My boss is so mean. I feel like I am always tip toe-ing around him.
  10. My younger sister thought TGIF was an instruction manual that told her that the Toes Get In First.
  11. My father has a friend from Spain with a rubber toe. Whenever he comes home, my mother says, “Your friend Roberto is home for dinner.”
  12. The best way to keep yourself alert at all times is to join ballet because it is the only sport that keeps you on your toes.
  13. Anyone who thinks onions are the only vegetable that can make you cry has never dropped a turnip on their toe.
  14. What causes the pain you get when you kick a rocket? Missile Toe.
  15. Why did the man tip-toe in the medical closet? He did not want to wake the sleeping pills.
  16. What does Will Smith call his toes? They are my leg end.
  17. Why was the toe swollen and itchy? Because it had a severe case of toe-nsilitis!
  18. Whom did the man call instead of a doctor after hurting his feet while driving? He called the toe truck.
  19. What is the boy called if he’s stung by a bee on his foot? You call him Toby.
  20. How did the math teacher teach geometry with fractured hands? She would just toe the line.