90+ Pig Puns & Jokes

Pig-ture perfect parenting

  1. According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
  2. What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
  3. What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
  4. Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
  5. If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.

Adulting for pigs is never boar-ing

  1. Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
  2. When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
  3. When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
  4. When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
  5. Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
  6. What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
  7. What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?”
  8. Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
  9. What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
  10. What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”

Leisure time for pigs

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  1. What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
  2. How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
  3. Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
  4. What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
  5. Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.

Pig religion and culture

  1. What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
  2. What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
  3. What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
  4. What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
  5. What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
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Pig psychology

  1. Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
  2. What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
  3. What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
  4. How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
  5. What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
  6. Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.

Super Silly Pig Puns and Jokes

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  • Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?

They threw a sowprize party.

  • I saw a pig with laryngitis.

He was disgruntled.

  • What do you call a pig thief?

A hamburglar.

  • Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?

They always squeal.

  • How do pigs write top-secret messages?

With invisible oink!

  • Why do pigs make awful football players?

They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”

  • Why are pigs awful basketball players?

They hog the ball.

  • What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?

A porky-pine.

  • Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?

She was hogging the food.

  • Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.

It was a hambush.

  • What do you call a Spanish pig?

Porque.

  • What kind of work do pigs do after school?

Hamwork.

  • What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?

Bacon and Legs.

  • What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?

The Olympigs.

  • Why did the pig go to the casino?

To play the slop machine!

  • What do you give a sick pig?
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Oinkment.

  • What do you call a pig who does karate?

A pork chop.

  • How does a young pig hit on someone?

They invite them over to Netflix and swill.

  • What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?

“Sow what?”

  • What did one pig say to the other?

Let’s be pen pals.

  • What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?

Jurassic Pork.

  • Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?

He called it “Ham Hocks”

  • A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.

I’m going to see their production of swine lake.

  • Why was the piglet whining.

He was boared out of his brains.

  • What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?

Philanthropig.

“I’m bacon.”

  • I read a story about pig anatomy.

It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.

  • What happened when the pig pen broke?

They had to use the pig pencil.

  • What do you call a pig that plays basketball?

A ball hog.

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  • What do you call a pig with no legs?

A groundhog.

  • Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?

Because he was a boar.

  • What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?

A slow-pork.

  • What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?

Pulled pork!

  • Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?

For playing dirty.

  • A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?

Filthy rich.

  • What did the little piglet want from the swine?

A piggyback ride home.

  • What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?

Mistaken bacon.

  • Where do flying pigs go?

Hogwarts, of course!

  • What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?

A road hog.

  • What is the most common Halloween outfit for a pig to dress up as?

Frankenswine.

  • What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
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“That’s the end of me!”

  • How do pigs greet their family and friends?

With hogs and kisses.

  • What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?

They have a valenswines dinner.

  • What do you call a pig with three eyes?

A piiig!

  • What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?

The Man of Squeal.

  • What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?

A nosey porker!

  • Knock, knock!

Who’s there? Pig… Pig who? Pig on someone your own size!

  • What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?

A hamster

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  • In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…

It’s mayham!

  • Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?

He was the first Porkmaster General.

  • How do pigs get to the hospital?

A hambulance.

  • What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?

A bae con.

  • What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?

Ham boogers.

  • Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?

They’re in a stable relationship.

  • What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?

Hoggin Daz!

  • What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?

Pork rinds.

  • Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?

She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!

  • What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?

“I’m not a people porcine.”

  • What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?

“Don’t take anything for grunted.”