300+ Flower Puns & Jokes

Flower Puns

  1. I ain’t dandelion.
  2. I love you a lily more each day.
  3. She’s a buttercup.
  4. That is just ranunculus.
  5. Hosta la vista, baby!
  6. Iris you all the happiness in the world.
  7. You can poppy-n anytime.
  8. Thistle while you work.
  9. If you were a flower, you’d be a damn-delion.
  10. What in carnation?
  11. Thistle be a beautiful day!
  12. Every daisy is better because of you.
  13. I’m so thorny.
  14. You’re simply iris-istible.
  15. Get clover it.
  16. I can’t wait to kiss your tulips.
  17. I’m head clover heels in love.
  18. A peony for your thoughts.
  19. We should put our tulips together.
  20. You made my daisy.
  21. A peony saved is a peony earned.
  22. I’m proud to be y-orchid
  23. Rose to the occasion.
  24. Every dogwood has its day.
  25. I lilac you.
  26. Wild(flower) about you.
  27. Don’t sing out of petunia.
  28. I think of you every daisy.
  29. Be still, my bleeding heart.
  30. My favorite shoes are Crocus.
  31. Everything is a-bouquet.
  32. I hope your bonesets quickly.
  33. Put the petal to the metal.
  34. A peony for your thoughts?
  35. Don’t sing out of Petunia.
  36. Go with the flower.
  37. What lilac at work, I make up for at home.
  38. If it’s a bouquet with you, I’d like you to be my Valentine.
  39. I’m wearing my comfrey sweatshirt and pyjama pants.
  40. I really really lilac you.
  41. Did you hear about the flower which gave an ultimatum to her husband? She told him once and floral.
  42. What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help? Lilac the ability to stop.
  43. How do florists make their money? By petaling their goods, of course!
  44. I love it when you call me big poppy.
  45. What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower? Plant one on me.
  46. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a bee? Polly-nation!
  47. What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower? You had me at hydrangea.
  48. If you were a flower, you’d be a damndelion.
  49. Did you hear that Simba got all dressed up? You might say he was a real dandy-lion!

Generic Plant Puns

  1. You grow girl!
  2. I wet my plants.
  3. BBFs — Best Buds Forever.
  4. Bloom where you’re planted.
  5. The more you grow.
  6. Time to take stalk of your life.
  7. Don’t stop be-leafing.
  8. Once and floral.
  9. Talk dirt to me.
  10. Someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
  11. Botany plants lately?
  12. Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
  13. I’m sexy and I grow it.
  14. Scarecrows are always garden their patch.
  15. I’ve soiled myself.
  16. She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
  17. Ok, bloomer.
  18. I feel sorry for wheelbarrows. They’re always getting pushed around.
  19. My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I’m not sure what it stems from, but I’m stuck with it.
  20. I killed a hundred weeds today! No, you only killed 98 weeds. Geez, sorry, I Roundup.
  21. Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
  22. Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
  23. Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?

Roses Puns

300+ Flower Puns & Jokes
  1. Roses over bros
  2. What’s a flower’s favourite band? Guns n’ Roses.
  3. What kind of alcohol do flowers drink? Rosé.
  4. I heard you were in a thorny situation, but I’m sure you’ll come out of it smelling like a rose.
  5. Roses are so friendly because they always thank you a bunch.
  6. To the person who rose me right
  7. For a mother who always rose to the occasion, even when I was a real thorn in your side
  8. When the rose meets the love of his life, he feels so thorny!
  9. Stop and smell the rosé.
  10. When a rose wants to have a second chance in his relationship, what would he say? “I will grow on you, baby!”
  11. Which is a rose’s favourite rock band? – Guns N’s Roses.
  12. A good pickup line for playboys: “Hi there, you need to know that roses are not the only things that are thorny and have a long stem.”
  13. How much does a rose love its family? – A bunch!

Sunflower Puns

  1. A guy gives flowers to all of his family. To his wife, he gives roses. To his parents, he gives orchids. To his daughters, he gives daisies. And to his sons, he gives sunflowers
  2. Advice from a sunflower: Be outstanding in your field.
  3. Why did the rose stop dating the sunflower? She only saw him as a frond.
  4. Why do Pokemons like to eat sunflower seeds? Because they like to pick and chew.
RELATED:   110+ Tree Puns & Jokes

Tulip Puns

  1. I can’t wait to kiss your tulips.
  2. How does a gardener whistle? He presses his tulips together.
  3. What’s a bad flower pickup line? Let’s put our tulips together.
  4. Sometimes I love you tulip much.
  5. I’ve loved you ever since our tulips first met.
  6. Which gardens are the most talkative? The ones with tulips.
  7. I love you tulip much!
  8. How did the gardener blow a whistle? He used his tulips.
  9. Read my tulips.
  10. My wife said that all our tulips had come out now. Who’d have thought, gay tulips!
  11. What’s better than having roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ.
  12. What kind of flowers do you take to a Smooch concert? Tulips

Orchid puns

300+ Flower Puns & Jokes
  1. What did the flower write on his mother’s day card? I’m proud to be Orchid.
  2. I’m not orchid-ing when I say you’re a great mom.
  3. You’re the best mom ever, Orchid you not.
  4. When buying an exotic flower for your lover, there are two choices. Use contraception, Orchid.
  5. I made out with a girl at an apple orchid, and she ended up getting pregnant. It’s because I came in cider.

Daisy puns

  1. How do you know you’re in love with a flower? Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
  2. I think of you everydaisy.
  3. Daisy me rollin’.
  4. My wife notices the new Daisy variety I have growing in the garden. Thistle definitely gets her attention.
  5. What is Daisy Ridley’s favourite type of sunglasses? “Rey-Bans!”
  6. What flower is the biggest klutz? A Whoopsi-Daisy.
  7. I ordered the wrong kind of flowers online for Valentine’s Day. Oops, e-daisies.
  8. I started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses. It’s called “oopsie daisies”.
  9. Knock-knock, who’s there? Daisy! Daisy who? Daisy me rollin, they hatin’.

Plant puns

  1. Well aloe, Dolly
  2. We’re BBFs – best buds forever.
  3. Stem the tide.
  4. Oh, kale yeah
  5. I just want some’bud’y to love
  6. What is a cactus’ favourite MC Hammer song? Can’t touch this.
  7. You had me at aloe.
  8. Let’s get to the root of the problem.
  9. I will seed you later!
  10. Why are plants the best chefs? They’re succulent.
  11. You grow, girl!
  12. We’re mint to be.
  13. I will love you till the end of thyme.
  14. Just wanted to say aloe!

Leaf puns

300+ Flower Puns & Jokes
  1. What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job? Take it or leaf it.
  2. I hate when bay leaves.
  3. Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run? She was leafed for dead.
  4. I never want you to leaf me.
  5. I be-leaf in you.
  6. What is a flower’s favourite Journey song? Don’t stop be-leafing.
  7. Why do flowers love spring? It makes them feel releaved!
  8. I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
  9. What’s small, red and whispers? A hoarse radish.
  10. What’s a gardener’s favourite type of trousers? Ones with turnips.
  11. I’ve had it once and floral.
  12. Let the good thymes roll.
  13. Hibiscus and gravy
  14. What is a flower’s favorite vegetable? Cauliflower.
  15. Not a daisy goes by where I don’t think about you.
  16. You’re my best bud!
  17. What’s a flower’s favorite band? Guns n’ Roses.
  18. Why are flowers so good at problem-solving? They know how to nip things in the bud.
  19. Wildflower about you.
  20. I love you bunches.
  21. Oh snapdragon!
  22. I’m sharing these flower puns with my best bud.
  23. That floral feeling.
  24. Daisy me rollin’.
  25. Oopsie daisy.
  26. Don’t be so posy.
  27. I can’t wait to see our love grow and grow and grow.
  28. How many lips does a flower have? Tulips.
  29. Good day, sunflower.
  30. What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder? Are you a DAMNdelion?
  31. Our tulips should kiss.
  32. What does a flower say when they’re surprised? What in carnation!
  33. Hyacinth-ia! (Okay, so this only works for women named Cynthia)
  34. Every rose has its hawthorn.
  35. Stop trying to make vetch happen.
  36. Spring has sprung.
  37. Legalize flower pot.
  38. The day after tom-yarrow.
  39. We’re mint to be.
  40. Thanks a bunch!
  41. Don’t kale my vibe.
  42. What does a door to door flower salesman do? Petal his wares.
  43. If you were a flower, you’d be a damndelion.
  44. I just want some’bud’y to love…
  45. Happy Mum’s Day
  46. We’re pinching peonies.
  47. Petal to the metal.
  48. Merlin’s Goatbeard!
  49. Time to take stalk of my life.
  50. You are so berry cute.
  51. Thistle house.
  52. Oh kale yeah.
  53. Bouquet Pokey
  54. My favorite movie is Stigma-ta.
  55. Iris my life to save you.
  56. Be still my bleeding heart.
  57. Party thyme.
  58. Death Petal
  59. Iris you all the happiness in the world
  60. Eat, drink, and be rosemary.
  61. I love you mum, you’re the best!
  62. I really lilac you.
  63. Ain’t nobody got thyme for that.
  64. What did the flower write in his mother’s day card? I’m proud to be orchid.
  65. The flower urned this one.
  66. She has a violet streak.
  67. Life would succ without these cute flower puns!
  68. Here comes the sun(flower).
  69. We should put our tulips together this Valentine’s day.
  70. Ay poppy!
  71. Always rooting for you.
  72. I lilac you a lot
  73. I’m wearing my comfrey sweatshirt and pajama pants.
  74. Mums the word.
  75. My love for you blossoms every day.
  76. Last bud not least…
  77. Rose over bros.
  78. Rhythm Pollination
  79. Bee kind.
  80. Begonia. Don’t stay.
  81. Don’t stop beleafing.
  82. What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song? Can’t touch this.
  83. Once and flor-al
  84. Pistil’s firing.
  85. Vase of Spades
  86. You’re my shooting star.
  87. What’s a bad flower pick-up line? Let’s put our tulips together?
  88. Long thyme, no see!
  89. He’s a garden criminal.
  90. I love flower-less cake.
  91. Say it ain’t cilantro.
  92. We should go sea thrift store shopping.
  93. Let’s throw a Gardenia party.
  94. Leaf me alone.
  95. Of the I seed.
  96. Gardens of the Galaxy
  97. We were mint to be.
  98. On a larkspur.
  99. What did the flower tell his son before a big game? I’m rooting for you.
  100. Not a daisy goes by that I don’t think of you.
  101. Don’t get so pansy with me.
  102. What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers? Like pollen teeth.
  103. What do you call a grandpa flower? Poppy.
  104. I’ve pollen, and I can’t get up.
  105. Go with the flower
  106. What a foxglove
  107. Orange you glad we’re best friends?
  108. The inmates are running the sweet asylum.
  109. What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present? I hope thistle cheer you up.
  110. Girls just want to have sunflowers.
  111. What’s up buttercup?
  112. April showers bring Mayflowers
  113. I have a laurel exam.
  114. These flower puns are simply iris-istible
  115. Just peachy.
  116. You’re my best bud.
  117. How do you know you’re in love with a flower? Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
  118. If I only had a trillium dollars…
  119. I’ll never desert you.
  120. Don’t be so impatiens.
  121. You are the baneberry of my existence.
  122. Clean your bloom
  123. Let’s put our tulips together.
  124. Blossom buddies.
  125. The witching flower
  126. How much does a flower love their friends? Bunches.
  127. Bride and Bloom
  128. Don’t be so mallow.
  129. Don’t fall at the last myrtle.
  130. Live life in full bloom.
  131. Oh no… I wet my plants!
  132. You’re the most beautiful girl in the cosmos.
  133. In English class, we’re reading the Canterbury Bells.
  134. Edgar Allen Poe’s favorite plant is the corpse flower.
  135. Erase the stigma.
  136. Aloe gov’nah.
  137. Can’t you run any aster?
  138. Let’s get to the root of the problem.
  139. What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie? Backpetal.
  140. I hope thistle show you how much I love you!
  141. I love hikes, but not when they’re so lily.
  142. Chives right in.
  143. I’m head clover heals in love with these flower puns.
  144. That is just ranunculus
  145. You’ll rue the day.
RELATED:   160+ Succulent Puns & Jokes

Flower Jokes

300+ Flower Puns & Jokes
  • Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?

It’s a budding romance.

  • What did the flower say after he told a joke?

“I was just pollen your leg!”

  • How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?

They have tulips.

  • What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?

“Take it or leaf it.”

  • Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?

He just wants somebudy to love.

  • What do you call flowers who are BFFs?

Buds.

  • Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?

He just needed a kick in the bud.

  • What does the youngest flower child say?

“Last bud not least!”

  • Did you hear about the flower that never bloomed?

It was a bud omen.

  • What does a flower therapist ask her patients?

“Are you feeling bouquet?”

  • What did the flower say when her son went off to college?

“I be-leaf in you.”

  • Why do flowers always drive so fast?

They put the petal to the metal.

  • Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?

She rose above it.

  • What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?

“Floret.”

  • What do flowers study in college?

Stem.

  • Why didn’t the flower get a second date?

He was a garden variety.

  • How do two flowers greet each other?

“Hey bud, how’s it growing?”

  • What flower is on your face?

Your tulips.

  • A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower.
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It was a cross pollination.

  • What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle?

They rose.

  • I took a photo of my flower.

Now it can photosynthesize.

  • I had to buy our dog flowers…

Because I accidentally called him our old dog’s name.

  • Why is a flower like the letter “a”?

Because a bee goes after it.

  • Magician: “I can turn this handkerchief into a flower.”

Little boy: “That’s nothing. I can walk down the street and turn into an alley.”

  • My wife told me I planted the wrong flowers.

Oopsie daisy!

  • A man gives flowers to everyone in his family.

To his wife he gives roses, to his parents he gives orchids, to his daughters he gives daisies. And to his sons, he gives sunflowers.

  • A man in a flower shop was trying to pick the perfect bouquet for his wife.

He said, “It’s crazy how much money you gotta spend on something that’s just going to die.” I said, “I know… and you gotta buy them flowers too.”

  • What’s the best flower for a boy to give his mom for Mother’s Day?

Son-flowers of course!

  • For Valentine’s Day, I received a bunch of flowers with the heads cut off.

I think I was being stalked.

  • Wife: “Where did you put the flowers?”

Me: “In the door.” Wife: “What? How?” Me: “Relax, it’s easy because the door is ajar.”

  • My buddy just got kicked out of his house. His wife was hinting at Valentine’s Day plans and asked him if he knew her favorite flower.

“Gold Medal All Purpose” apparently wasn’t the answer.

  • The password is flower…

But she keeps saying flour.

  • My wife complains that I never buy her flowers.

I didn’t even know she sold them!

  • Why did the king insist on lavender-scented food?

So his farts don’t stink.

  • What did the dog do on his walk in the park?

Peony on this tree, peony on that tree.

  • What did the big flower say to the little flower?

“What’s up, little bud?”

  • How did the old rose make a living?

She went from house to house petaling her wares.”

  • What do you call an inn opened by a flower and a chef?

A bud and breakfast.

  • What did the bank-robbing flower say to its getaway driver?

“Floret!”

  • What’s a flower’s favorite game to play on Halloween?

Light as a heather, stiff as a board.

  • What’s Miley Cyrus’ alter ego in the flower world?

Hannah Lantana.

  • What’s a gardener’s go-to pick-up line?

“You’re simply iris-istible.”

  • What type of garden do bakers usually have?

Flour gardens.

  • What flower in the garden is fiercest of them all?

The tiger lily.

The daffo-dill.

  • What is a bumblebee’s favorite flower?

The bee-gonia.

  • What do cartographers give to their loved ones on Valentine’s Day?

Probably compass roses.