Best Deer Puns and Jokes
1. What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
2. What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
3. How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
4. Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
5. What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
6. I love you deer-ly!
7. What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
8. Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
9. What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
10. Hang on for deer life!
11. What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
12. What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
13. Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
14. How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
15. Who did the deer invite to her birthday party?
Her deerest friends.
16. What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
17. What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
18. What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
19. Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
20. Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
21. What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
22. What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
23. What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
24. For real, doe.
25. What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
26. What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
27. This is so much fawn!
28. Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
29. Deer to be different!
30. Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
31. What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
32. Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
33. What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
34. How deer you!
35. What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
36. What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
37. What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
38. It’s the fawn of a new day!
39. What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
40. What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
41. What do deer read to catch up on celeb gossip?
Stag-azines.
42. What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
43. What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
44. What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
45. What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
46. How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
47. What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
48. What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
49. Good i-deer!
50. What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
More Deer Puns and Jokes
- What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
- Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
- What do teenagers do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
- If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
- Who did Bambi invite to his birthday party?
His nearest and deer-est friends.
- What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer?
“DOE!”
- What do deers call hunters?
Doe foes.
- How do you see a deer behind you?
Hindsight.
- What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
- A baby deer has been hanging around my house lately.
I’m quite fawned of it.
- Hey, has anyone seen the new deer burgers they sell at Walmart?
I heard they only cost a buck.
- How do you compliment a deer?
Fawn over her.
- What do you call a deer with a doctorate degree?
A hart surgeon.
- What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
- How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
- Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
- What do deer read?
Stagazines.
- Which side of a deer has the best meat?
The inside.
- I traded a deer for some chickens.
Overall, it was a good deal. It only cost me a buck.
- What’s a deer’s favorite game?
Buckaroo!
- What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
- What do you call deer in outer space?
Star bucks.
- Did you hear about the nice deer?
She had a hart of gold.
- How do you save a deer during hunting season?
You hang on for deer life.
- I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
- What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck.
- Three dummies were walking on a path, and the first one said, “Hey, look — there are deer tracks!”
The second one said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” Then the third one said, “Nuh-uh those are—” Then they all got hit by a train.
- I’ve opened a deer cloning service.
It’s for anyone hoping to make a quick buck.
- Deer customer,
You are a deer. Please get out of here. You’re spreading your ticks everywhere. Thank you.
- What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
- What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
- The number one cause of car accidents in Georgia is deer.
Which is crazy because they can’t drive.
- What would happen if Apple bought a deer?
They’d have an idea.
Reindeer Puns and Jokes
- What do reindeer say to their kids?
“I love you deerly.”
- Who laughed and called Rudolph names?
Olive, the other reindeer.
- What street in France do reindeer live on?
Rue Dolph.
- What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
Go to a retail shop for a new one.
- Why is Mrs. Claus always hugging the reindeer?
They are so deer to her.
- Who is a reindeer’s favorite celebrity?
Beyon-sleigh.
- What is Rudolph’s favorite day of the year?
Red Nose Day.
- What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments.
- What’s a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer?
Comet.
- How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh and reindeer?
Nothing; it’s on the house!
- Why doesn’t Santa use reindeer milk in his morning coffee?
He’s on a non-deery diet.
- Which Elton John song describes one of Santa’s small reindeer perfectly?
“Tiny Dancer.”
- What do reindeer say every time they take a picture on a housetop?
“Click, click, click.”
- What do you call Santa’s reindeer wranglers?
Jolly ranchers.
- Does everyone in the North Pole think Santa’s reindeer are a great team?
Yep, that’s what they’ve herd.